Aduh, Mawi!

Following front headlines in MalayMail and extensive reports in Harian Metro, it was with great shock and dissappointment I write that Mawi FC was disbanded yesterday. Or stepping down of six Committee Members. Or take out the garbage. Or whatever, I don’t know. And personally, I don’t care.

I had been listening to some grouses for the past month or so (granted, this is not a normal as I am mostly deaf most days) and about Mawi from his alleged staunch-est supporters.

They grumbled that Mawi is “killing his own career” and that he had not been acting appropriately. You understand, these are his biggest fans, which only makes them, what? ONLY the all-knowing professional advisors in public relations, media and professional etiquette.

Anyway, for those who are not in the know, like Babe, whose busy working life will undoubtedly unavail her to the morning papers, Ah Beng, who’s too busy sniffing insects and Anis, who is well, in Australia, and as such, can’t be arsed with such trivialities such as Mawi and his Aura; Mawi FC Committee Members have decided to step down following their grumbles on Mawi’s various unsavory conduct. A PC (Press Conference) was held yesterday, at the time whence Mawi was performing his song during a launch of his album/charity dinner fashion show thingy at PWTC.

WTF? You say you’re behind Mawi 100% and you couldn’t have waited for a more suitable time to conduct the PC eh? I should’ve known. Mawi doesn’t need anti-Mawi fans to bring him down. He has his own fans to do it for him.

Anyway, because Leen Ash Burn’s Lair is meant to educate *coughs* and to bring fair, just and honest reporting of world’s events (Mawi, WORLD) *snigger*, I have taken upon myself, on no extra charges (but mayhap waste on resources and office’s money), to do a bit of journalistic romps and find out what they think about this monumental event*.

Kak Saodah, 45, shop assistant, Nilai Square:

“HA?? MAWI DAH BERHENTI MENANYI??”

After calming her down with a glass of cold water (courtesy of Kedai Kain dan Langsir T.N. and fanning her with a “kain brocade Mawi 4m RM35 sahaja!), she smiled and replied, “Kak Odah tak tahu pun Mawi ada FC. Er…FC tu apa ya? Tapi kak Odah suka betul lagu Aduh Saliha. Ha, adik beli lah kain ni, 4 meter akak bagi harga kawan-kawan RM33.”.

Right.

Moving along now, I’ve managed to stalk a handsome tourist on his way to Batu Caves.

Erik Eriksson, 20, student, Norway:

“Sorry, Mawi who please? Is it a new football club?” *blink*

Woops wrong person to ask but you gotta SEE those baby blues of his, man!

*Coughs*

At the KLCC park, I’ve managed to lure some kids with sweets.

Nadia Fatin Alissa, 4 unemployed, had this to say, “Kita suka Mawi. Nanti bila dah besar, kita nak kahwin dengan Mawi. Mawi hensem. Tapi kita pun nak kahwin sama Marsha bila dah besar sebab dia lawa.”

Her brother, Daniel Rahimi Mikael, 2 also unemployed, just cried, kicked some sand to my face and ran back to his mommy’s lap. The ungrateful donkey even took my sweets with him, the nerve.

I went to Low Yatt Plaza, hoping to catch Wong Ah Keong, age unknown, VCD peddler, (distant relative of Wong Ah Beng) before he leaves for his 4 hour lunch.

“Aaa? Lu mau Mawi cd ah? Alaaa-alaaa. Ni baluu munyee. Simalam balu lee-lees. Vaily good quality one! Tak ala calar-calar munye. You see lor, where got skletch one.”

After explaining to him that I was there to interview him and not to actually purchase Mawi’s CD, he berated to me; “Haiyaaa, lu olang selalu mikin wa susah! Wa hanye mau mencalik nasi satu sudu untok makan, bilakang lu olang sulah tak bagi wa juat ini CD. Apa hat lu mau tanya wa pasal itu Mawi FC? Wa tatak kesah munye. Wa hanya mau menjuat CD sahaje”.

Ahmad Hisham Yaakob, or Ritalytta Sasha Veronica by others, 28, “freelancer”, commented, “Uols! Perlu ke nyah?? Motif sangs nak buat PC-PC bagai. Overina la dia org ni, kosser mak. Hadik-hadik, ni mak nak hajar sikit, kalau ya laa taste kau ger-ger sangat kat budak botak tu, kalau laa kau tengok tangan kekar dia pun kau rembes segala mala sampai tak sesabar nak cikcuran bagai, kita ratu tetap maintain ratu occay. Tak perlu uols nak meroyan bagai, nanti tengah-tengah meroyan, sora jantan kau keluar, sapa yang malu sebab dah pecah lobang? Maaaak jugak susah kena dengar tangis rayu kau. Ingat tu! Satu lagi, jangan lupa! Kecantikan ittew, adalah hak milik setiap insaaan. Tataaa!” *blows kisses*.

“Eh, mak lupa uols,” she shrieked, or rather, bellowed, at me as I was just about to make my way out.

“Mak nak kau jaja nama mak uols, mak nak cakap, sekarang mak dah bukak kedai butik. Ala biase biase je nyaaah. Mak buat baju kurung, dress, tops, topi sama shawl sekali. Beading pun mak buat nyah, mak boley buat baju hodoh kau ni vassst sekals! Kalau Miss Venezula masa Miss World hari tu, nyah!”

Thanks, but I don’t want to look like a Christmas tree, thank you.

Almost giving up, I finally chanced upon a very sweet tudung-clad girl furtively scouring the many magazines at the newspaper stand, to the displeasure of the Mamak owner.

Nurfaezatul Haziah, 19, Mass Communication Student, UiTM Shah Alam, “Er…*giggles* apa nak cakap ni ek? *Giggles*. Er…saya rasa, tak patut la dia buat macam tuh. Sebab..er…*giggles* jangan la tengok saya camtu akak! Er…apa ni, saya rasa tak patut sebab tak baik la dia orang buat Mawi camtu kan. Masa dia tengah nanyi lak tuh. Kesian dia. Eh, akak, *giggles*, sekarang kira dia orang nak ahli jawatankuasa baru ya? Saya nak apply lah, sebab saya memang minat betul kat Mawi ni kak. Saya dah beli dah kaset-kaset dia. Boyfriend saya punya hari jadik hari tu pun saya belikan dia t-shirt Mawi dengan album Mawi kak. *Giggles*. Mawi….WORLD!”. Nurfaezatul then left the shop, armed with the newly purchased URTV, Media Hiburan and a new novelette, “Cinta ku Kapas yang Suci” by Fiora Nabila Syukri. Happy to report that the Mamak owner is no longer displeased.

Anonymous, Owner of a Blog, currently vying the Malaysian Top Blogger spot (though he is sadly ranking 89th at the moment), 25, Technical Engineer, “Do you think if I write about Mawi I’ll get more hits? Should I write pro or against Mawi? Yesterday I had two hits, uh, one lah since the other one is mine. Eh, but I visited twice. So do you think this will get me more hits to my blog? I want people to read my poems. My kindergarten teacher told my mom that I have such flair for writing. So I have all these poems to be shared. Maybe I should write one about Mawi. I’m sure that’ll create traffic.”

With this I conclude that, business is as per usual.

* Monumental as some quarters from Mawi FC believed that they are the powers that be who determines the rise and fall of an artiste.