YB Leen Mukah Candidate for Pundak in the General Election!

Mukah, Merembesss, Mmmrraaasaaa

Source: Office of Communications of Leen Ash-Burn, the small yet very important country of Leen Nation.
Publication date: 21 February 2008.

Leen Nation - 21 February 2008 – The not-so-little, but very rich and clever People of Leen Nation rejoiced on the news in the pipeline that their heralded, most gracious Chosen One, YB Leen AshBurn had volunteered and subsequently approved to contest in the coming general elections under the PUNDAK political party. The mostly misunderstood, but actually very pretty and brilliant Leen, recorded her gratitude and thank you to the equally brilliant, but not so pretty, PUNDAK President, Pazuzu of the Floating Turd fame. Pazuzu rose to fame when he was reported in Star to have had a compromising video clip of a browned stick-man person who sounded and looked like him but could not have been possibly him.

Leen, to many of her friends; YB to her constituents; Oi Pund*k to Jealous Babe of Very Little Bits and Babycakes to her various Hunky Manly “Casual” Male Friends, will be contesting in the state of Mukah, Sarawak.

When asked as to the reason why she had chosen Mukah, she responded candidly that she had always liked Mukah for its obvious reasons. When pressed to elaborate, Leen said that Mukah is a peaceful loving community of some 100,000 population who thrived on peace, love and electricity. She also said that she loves and lauds Mukah’s municipal council’s idea to wear batik on Thursdays and said that this should set example to all municipal councils in the country, if not the world over.

Wearing batik, expounds Leen, will not only make the wearer feel comfortable, but also desirable.

“For example, if one Malay male is seen to be wearing a batik shirt in a formal do, it is likely that the perception that he is an ahli politik.”

She added, “And we all know that ahli politik, especially men, are desirable because they’re rich, articulate and have good complexion. They are also good with money – instead of spending thousands on botox or Vitamin C injections; for example, they only consume tempe in the truckloads. Everyone knows that a truck of tempe is still cheaper than a series of Botox injections for one month.”

Women batik wearers are no different, Leen said. Batik-wearing women can reach two-pronged objectives. One, when worn with a tatty t-shirt whilst doing house work, specifically, washing dishes by the drain behind one’s house can attract manly men, specifically, with thick moustache and possibly, thick wallets.

Two, when worn in formal mixers and parties, can give the illusion of grandeur and sophistication as it could lead to the other guests thinking that the batik is bought from Tom Abang Saufi’s exclusive collection even if it was purchased at Pasar Siti Khadijah in Kota Bahru.

The Pundak candidate for Mukah has also listed the following causes to fight for the candidacy seat in the general elections:

1) Cheaper electricity bills for Mukah and its surrounding population in view of the Mukah Power Plant project, scheduled for completion at end of 2008.

2) Greater tempe produce to Mukah to ensure better complexion and subsequently, better relationship and career prospects for her constituency.

3) To build up the tourism in the area.

Mukah, while not known as a tourist spot, has its merits, according to YB AshBurn. She said with tasteful infrastructures by the road side, on the roundabouts and funny looking street lights, she is confident that the town can be tailored to be a tourist haven.

“Already they have a police station, sago plantation and quaint coastal township – that is already a boost for tourism in Mukah.”

When pointed out that there is likely to be no roundabouts in Mukah by a belligerent reporter, the unflappable Leen did not bat an eyelid and retorted, “Well, we shall have one then!”

Mukah being a PBB stronghold did not faze the sometime-Blogger one bit. She is confident that she will be able to wing a seat for the area. After all, she will be receiving a huge chunk of the RM2 million pie for her campaign from the Pundak party President; once HRH Queen of England signs the cheque.

YB Leen wishes all the other Pundak candidates the best of luck and informed with much gusto that she is confident that Pundak, while very new and raw, will at least win some seats in the elections.