Maaf Tuan Hari Ini Hari Bodoh Saya Part Entah Berapa tah.

Hari tu I had dinner with Hassan Pulau Ketam. We went to Port Klang and had dinner by the seaside. Romantic? OK lah. With Hassan, I always knew our date, if you can call it that, would be great. We have great conversations and he’s about at par with me with the prat-falls/hari bodoh occurrence. My only grouse is that with the paltry candle as our table centre piece, I couldn’t see much of my food. I mean, what if I tergigit the unblended bawangs? There were aplenty!

*Geli-geleman*

And then kan, because it was so dark, I couldn’t see where my food went. Tiba-tiba hilang, like that (Padahal masuk perut).

We met because Hassan Pulau Ketam was to jet-set to an exotic place this weekend and I wanted to introduce him to Joyah Seks before he leaves.

Joyah Seks is Joget’s successor. Joget and I have had some fun but it’s time to let her go. Tak pergi jauh pun, it’ll be with my sister je. Also, Joyah Seks is sooo sexy I couldn’t resist her. Jamban power, uols! Hiks. By the by, Joyah Seks is named so because it’s a combination of my plate number and car.

So anyway, here we were checking out the various functions and knobs in the car and testing this and checking out that. This means, he, the car aficionado he is, was checking the car out whereas I interspersed between listening to music and zoning out. Hang on, that could very well be one and the same activity kan? Anyway, after a few minutes of twisting and pressing and flicking, we had a little disagreement. I told him that my car boot can be opened via the “handle in the middle kat belakang tu”. He said there is no such handle.

Eh? Takkan takde. This is my car, I tahu lah.

Kekwat tak kekwat, noks?

You come here and check yourself lah.

*Waddle* *waddle* *raba-raba bumper*

Hmm...Adalaaaah. Ni kan gelap, mesti lah tak nampak.

Matilah tak mau kalah ini.

We went back in to check the manual. Or rather, Hassan Pulau Ketam went back in to frantically flick the pages to check the manual. As for me? I was happily singing Kantoi - I don’t know why but dammit that song is bloody addictive, man. I think I love it because it’s one of the few songs I am able to memorise(ish) in few days (I usually take ages, if ever). If you haven’t heard of Kantoi - WHY? Tapi go lah to yewtoob and search for that. There’ll be millions of entries but just listen to the ones by Zee Avi. Excellent shit, hers.

Anyway, Hassan Pulau Ketam was furiously flipping the pages of the manual, found what he was looking for and leaped out of Joyah Seks, to do more investigation on the alleged handle at the bumper.

I was getting impatient, I mean, after all, it is MY CAR kan? Takkan I don’t know where the handle is. I SWEAR it was there, kan I dok angkut my bags semua bila nak travel hari tu kat Perth.

Ehwaiddaminute. Perth?

ALAMAK!!! HASSSANNN PULAU KETAAAAMMMM!!

Apa dia?

Er yang I kata handle tu bukan this car. It’s the car I rented masa kat Perth hari tu. Hehe (ketawa malu).

I TOLD YOU KAN BUMPER TU TAKDE HANDLE?

Maaflah Tuan Hassan, hari itu hari Bodoh saya.