The Great Internet Scam Part Two

I am still not done you all!

So they asked me, why are you so sure he's a scammer when he's actually Skyped with you? Doesn't that tell you he's legit?

Dont be fooled, man.

This story was told by the girl who does my threading. She was dumped by her fiance shortly before her wedding so we've got all these all-men-are-slimy-bastards stories to share.

She once told me that there she was, minding her own business at Starbucks when she was approached by an African man (not too sure if of Nigerian origin or otherwise). She was offered RM500 just to sit in front of his laptop, on the webcam and chat with an unsuspecting victim in US or Europe or Australia or wherever; and confirm the terrific story the scammer has concocted - that this poor Asian girl from this third world country is poor and downthrodden and that his dad is currently sick at the hospital but they're too poor to pay for his medicines and oh god, he is now going to die so help me pleaseee.

See how clever they are?

Thing is, that scammer is either blind or stupid - she was wearing the latest LV and RM500 is likely to be her lunch money only ;-). She's also very smart. She said what if she agreed to do what he asked, for a "mere" RM500? Next thing you know, her mug will be placed on alert at Interpol?

But what if he had approached some young, innocent kid? Someone who desperately needs RM500? Or someone who has an expensive taste? Like my Nigerian scammer boyfriend? ;-)


P/S: update - he hasn't been online for a week. I suspect he will beonline soon, but this time, he will be from jail so can I please bail him out. Or something. What-ev!

The Great Internet Dating Scam

Haha drama tak title? Drama kan? Biasalah akak deknon.

SO...what happened?

Remember in my previous post? The one where my stupid genes something allows me to do insanely stupid things...like sign up to Internet dating sites.

Why indeed?

I don't know. I pledge insanity. But I guess when one gets lonesome; as one is wont to do - I am not about to pretend that I am kick ass and enjoying life to the hilt just cause I have an awesome job (which is hardly a career but fun nonetheless) and awesome life...I do, at some pockets of times, get lonely and depressed because sometimes, I just want someone I can call Baby.

(Cue intro some very depressing love song).

Teeehee.

But not someone to wallow in self pity, I take the proactive role in signing up on Internet Dating websites.

SO anyway, this particular one was made available as an app through my smart phone and it was fun sometimes, when I get to banter and flirt with some strange men (this is as far as I would go usually).

Until this one particular gweilo who messaged me THREE TIMES. I succumbed purely on superficial reasons - he looks cute.

So we exchanged messages, which later graduated to YM chats which later graduated to phone calls. 

Boy, was this boy smooth.

He said he is from the UK, is an architect, travels around the world (Afghanistan and Russia in the short course of my knowing him), never been married, mom is half Malay named Agnes. Been to Penang and KL and have cousins here but not close. Is in his late 40s. Stays in Manchester. Works on its own with one (married) secretary. No close friends because they worked on a project before, bailed out and did not pay him. Has a facebook account but forgotten his password. 

He also gave me a couple of photos. We also skyped. He never fails to tell me he is in love with me and that I am his Baby and his Angel and that I am cute or funny or beautiful or all three.

All's dandy yeah? So what's the problem, you wonder? (Even if you don't wonder, let me just tell you lah OK?)

Somethings do not quite jive.

I might be a cynical bitch, but let me tell you this...I am so, so, SO close to turn all blubbery and go all mushy and soft on this one. I mean, wouldn't you be if you're told, on numerous ocassions, how beautiful you are? When you *know* you're the ugly twin of a PMS Jo Brand on a bad hair day.

So what gives?

Well...when we speak on the phone, he didn't have a Brit accent. He spoke with a American(ish) accent. When we chat on YM, he doesn't do Britspeak. When I tried to do a Britspeak on him, he didn't get the reference. He says he plays "soccer" as a child, not football. When I questioned about it, he said he grew up a lot in Malaysia and Ireland *snorts*. 

His photos and Skype looks similar, but not the same. His FB account has only one photo - one of the ones that he gave me. His FB account, which he claimed he has forgotten the password to, has suddenly increase from just 15 friends to 22 now (I stalk).

His phone number (I tried to call him twice) is a UK number but looks like a switchboard/messaging service where an operator will route you to another number before he picks it up. He only picks it up when I told him I am calling him (and when I spring a surprise phone call, he did not pick it up).

As much as I am charmed by his ahem, charms, I noted that he is not interesting. He is not witty, he does not have stories to tell me, he doesn't do nought. I had to ask, about him, his life, his house, his work, etc. He always asked me the same questions all the time - How are you? Have you eaten? And proceed to tell me all the things all girls want to hear (you're pretty, you're adorable you're cute etc).

At one point, he was so exasperated by my questionings, he gave me his scanned passport. That was funny but it didn't really prove anything did it? I mean, there was once, in Afghanistan, he said he was to come to KL to visit me after his stint over there. But instead he had to fly back to the UK because he's having problems with his shipping (nothing his PA can help), he even showed a scanned copy of the shipping erm receipt? order? Some official paper.

When I traced the one email that he sent me, it was from South Africa. At that time, he said he was en route to Afghanistsan; in Dubai and missing me very much. 

Eh, banyak lah lagi.

So in conclusion, I don't think he's the real McCoy. He said he's to visit me in February, once his court case (about that delivery he had problems with earlier) ends - sometime today, I'm told. We are to go for a holiday together and he's to meet my parents, to Penang or Bali or somewhere beachy.

HAHAHAH KAU MAMPUUUU??

So we wait lah. I suspect February ni he will come up with another excuse, teehee.

So you fat lonely girls (or boys) out there, janganlah tertipu. Check your sources. Always be smart. Always be one step in front of the conman. Always be aware, always double check his stories - one way to do this is to ask the same questions, at a later date, in a different way (Although I have to say this - his stories has been consistent). I've read and saw some documentaries about Nigerian scammers. These people are RICH - there are so many confused, lonely and innocent women out there. These women are professionals - they make decent money on their own. These scammers project themselves as successful men with awesome careers - architects (red flag #1!), lawyers, doctors, engineers, geologists - careers that allow them to travel around the world.

He hasn't done the "I'm stuck in prison/Nigeria/police station need you to bail me out/pay my contractor/my medical bills etc" just yet but I expect that will be happening soon. This is another redflag #2. 

Photos - they are always, always caucasian and handsome. These are easy. When I was young and had too much time in my hands, I used to go on IRC a lot. I used to sometimes con stupid, horny men into thinking I am a Chinese mixed college girl (men are so stupid sometimes) and I would just search a random Pinoy looking girl on the Net and send them those photos. Too easy.

And similarly, they can just lift some photos on the Net and claimed as their own. You know there are websites that allow you to trace back those photos - I did mine and couldn't trace any but that doesn't mean jackshit. The documentary I saw - the photos shows a handome man in his 50's, very regal and successful looking; looks like he has the monies...and then they showed the Nigeria scammer (in MALAYSIA!!!) and let's just say, jauh langit dengan bumi, bagai hitam putih kehidupan gitu. So jauh berbeza noks. Redflag #4

Some will even go so far by sending the girls money, or flowers or chocolates or gifts - to show how serious they are in the relationship. Only to have the girls "pay back" by "helping" them out - sending thousands and thousands to a Western Union (always Western Union) account...in Nigeria (despite them being in Malaysia or summat).  Redflag #5

Oh, yet another point - they are always sending flowery types of love notes and emails. And their introductory emails are always "I don't know you/know how you look like etc but I know we're destined to be together" types.  Redflag #6

This story I have encountered so many times: Widow with one daughter. Loves daughter to death. Loves long walks by the beach (teehee), cooking (snorts), listening to music (mostly love songs) etc. Always make out as it they are sensitive, kind souls and all ready for some lervvvveee... Redflag #7

Hello kalau kau romentis, baik hati dan berjaya dalam karier korang (sebab semua pun doktor/loyar/arkitek bagai kan?) takkan lah kamu takde wanita-wanita genit yang suka pakai baju ketat yang suka kat korang kan? Takkan takde satu pun wanita kat negara itu yang chentar and in lerve with you kan? Tipu sangat.

Also, note their English. I read one of the date scam sites, their English is always suspect. So that could be a good indication. Redflag #8.

So, don't be conned. Love yourself, love your money, love your sanity first.

However, in the meantime, I will go chat with my Nigerian scammer boyfriend because I do enjoy people saying nice things to me. Teehee.

Begitu lah rentetan peristiwa saya yang hampir ditipu oleh mamat "gagak hitam". Harian Metro material or what?