The Blog of the Not-So Little People in Leen Nation

Waiting You For A Moment.

2012-01-06T12:29:00.001+08:00

I sometimes miss working in my old office in ~~Hell~~ Dell where I get to have conversations with people who insists on calling me Aboo (despite telling them my actual name, which is HRH Princess Goonzilla Billabong Merrypoppins Stewards-Gahan) and having even bizarre conversations with people from Taiwan who asked me to "waiting you for a moment" and then drop the telephone line etc.

I don't miss the stress and the long hours sampai pukul 2am though. So life's OK.

Anyway, I want to blog about my other "dating" mishap...big ticket entry ni.

How I nearly got scammed by a....internet dating scam.

JENG JENG JENGGGG!!

But first, let me do some work kat opis ni ya. Talking to you later! Waits you for a moment hor!

So I Guess...

2012-01-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

...I am not going to meet my Mr. Rightfully Rich, Witty, Matured and Baik Hati yang Suka Perempuan Gemuk anytime soon.

If ever. -____-.

If you had read the earlier posts, you'd notice that I am susceptible towards signing up with them dire singles/dating online sites in the quest to menchari chinta. Please don't judge me. My mom has been nagging at me and I'm quite sure my ears have fallen off.

So anyway, I received a notification from a certain mfarid. A wink, at first then a message:

Haiii.

Oh dear.

So I checked his profile and it said that he is *cough* a mere 10 years younger than I.

I asked if he realises that I am merely *cough* 10 years older than him?

He said he knows. And, I quote him ad verbatim "4 sex does mather".

Apa kau cakap ini celakeee?

So obviously, I have lost what little interest I have. So bless his little heart, he sent me another message:

Are you care about my age?

Because I told youse guys I want to be a better person. I bit my tongue and tied my hands and refrain from replying: No. But I care about your blatant disregard for proper English.

Oh well. Baru 2nd day of the year, ye dak? (Ayat sejukkan hati).

When Life Gives You Lemons...

2012-01-02T19:16:00.000+08:00

...you make a Lemon Butter Cake.

So it's 2012.

I naturally, do not have any resolutions. My attempts to have one, has been, by far, dismal indeed.

But I do have an inkling of an idea of the things I want to do.

Like two years ago, I wanted to buy a house and I want to do MBA.

Alhamdulillah.

I suffered through it (having to pay through my nose and other orifices for the house and burn many a candle to complete the assignments) but I am glad to say we have moved in and I am almost almost completing my MBA.

Alhamdulillah.

What are my 2013 plans?

To be able to pay for the house without having to sell an arm, a leg and my mother.
To be a better daughter to my parents.
To love more and cry less.
To empathise.
To wear my seatbelt at all times.
And to get married to a rich, handsome, mature, witty and interesting men who doesn't mind a fat wife (hehe).

Nostalgia

2011-11-13T11:46:00.001+08:00

So our dear Anod finally got hitched to a guy who looked like that boy from X-Factor. Anod is one of the few from that hellhole of a school in Kluang that I am in constant contact with, so it is impertinent that I go to her wedding.

And on that rainy Saturday mid-morning; Moons, An, Azi and I, left for Kluang.

Preamble: I hated Kluang. I hated the institution that was the school - the stupid regulations - the school rules and the restrictive hostel culture. I hated that I was jeered at just because I can speak Inggeris slightly better than some (and without having a put-on American accent adopted from many hours in front of the TV even!) and that I am fat. I hated the boys who always poked fun of me - who will call me loudly from across the library, along the corridors, everywhere and embarass me (I was young, naive and pemalu once). I hated the teachers who were mostly condescending and scary ("Dah tau bodoh duduk lagi belakang? Mana tak lagi bodoh!" "Ni tingkat 3 ni, ni tingkat 3...saya campak sekor2 ke bawah kang!") I hated the food which are mostly dreary - ikan jacket comes to mind.

Oh but Monday lunch, Tuesday dinner, Thursday dinner and Saturday breakfasts were lovely.

I hated the fact that I am a girl and so I MUST walk along the corridors that was deigned for females only. I can only play tennis at the court during Friday prayers only where the sun is scorching hot and I'd probably die of dehydration. I MUST were camisole and kain dalam because it is what good girls do despite the fact that I probably perspire and stink when my folds of fat are shrouded by layers and layers of clothing.

Suffice to say, my last day in Kluang was my last day at school. I did not even bother to come back for my SPM results.

So 20 years later, I revisit Kluang for Anod. It would be apt if the journey or at least the accompanying weather thereof was dramatic and nothing short of phenomenal. But no. I was in super good company with Moons, An and Azi. Good conversations, snacks, goss and laugh a minute. There was rain but what's a little pitter-patter and heavy traffic when you're in good company eh?

Then I reached Kluang.

The first wave of nostalgia hit me when I drove pass Institute Haiwan Kluang. As a Renjers Puteri, we camped out there for our badges. I remembered us girls, freshly awoken and still bleary eyed making our way to the toilets across the road. We spied a group of cows coming down the hill, at first a safe distance away then increasingly closer and closer and faster and faster. We screamed and scrambled to safety; some of us more able-limbed ones (and not fat like me) scampered and jumped over the fence. Never thought cows could move that fast but there you go.

We drove past the bus stop that we all waited for our bus to town. We squealed when we saw Sekolah Menengah Sains Johor signboard. We went to the wedding, posed and teased the bridge and groom and then made our way to railway station for the famed coffee and roti bakar.

We reminisced some more. I've always preferred the train than the bus so it was a rush of pleasant memories at the train station. How we jostled for seats and how some of us stood the entire way from Kluang to JB because there were no seats left during festivity holidays. I remembered nearly missing my Kluang stop because the train was on Singapore - KL route and stops for only 3 minutes in Kluang. I remembered a friend telling me, mirthfully, how a mother screamed and cried because she did not disembark in time - she was busy telling her son to be good etc. Teehee.

We drove past Coronation - Coro, to us kids then. Coro was a cinema then, some place wicked to escape to some kids who were brave and willing to break the rules (I wasn't brave enough, sadly). There was an even wickeder place at the back of Coro - this pakcik who sold awesome nasi goreng ayam for only RM1.50 - big enough portion to feed two hungry schoolkids (and perhaps only one fat schoolkid, ahem).

We remembered the jokes and the silly things we get up to in school. How one of us always managed to wrangle free food from the boys she was flirting with. How we (I) loved the makcik kantin's food. How we camwhored around Kluang during our last day of school. And the perpetual state of mess of my room locker (a warden called it "Niagara Falls" - go figure).

Suddenly, Kluang doesn't seem too bad anymore. The teachers aren't monsters - just strict mom/dad figures that we need in absence of our real parents. The food, well, the food on Monday lunch, Tuesday dinner, Thursday dinner and Saturday breakfasts were lovely. What's a little kari ikan jacket? And Makcik Gemuk always gave me extra portion (comrade in flab and all that).

And the friends, well the boys grew up and now that they're all daddies (and some queens teehee), they're a lot more nicer to talk to. Thanks to FB groups, I am now in touch with the other girls as well and it was lovely to have met Roselin who came down from Sarawak after 20 years.

Am glad I took that trip back to Kluang. Bye Kluang, I hope to be back soon.

Moral Panic

2011-11-08T00:09:00.002+08:00

Moral Panic is something I learnt when I studied Sociology during A Levels. If you ask me now I know jackshit about sociology. All I remember from that lecturer's class was his abject fascination for prostitutes (he kept discussing about them) and his quirky way of pronouncing words. He usually reads from the text and let's face it, this is surely not the best method to learn anything so we would usually doze/snooze/idle away our time during his classes.

One day though, he woke us up by asking: OK class? Are you vague?

Nothing wrong with that of course, except that he said it weird. Vague = vay-gew.

So we stifled our giggles and said in all seriousness: No sir, no vay-gew.

Then one of us, Azrani, piped up to say: But Sir! I have one vay-gew! Can you help me clear my vay-gew?

Oh how the mighty tried to repress our giggles.

Anyway, I didn't particularly want to talk about the vaygew lecturer but rather, about moral panic.

Which I know nothing about. Hmm.

Anyway, I have this one peculiar habit. You know how us single girls get wee depressed and lonly sometimes? No? It's only me?

Eleh, tipu.

SOO YEAHHHH. Sometimes us girls (read: me), get wee lonely and feel all wretched about now having someone to lerve, not having someone to call up just to say hi and not having to twirl hair infront of someone while listening to him talk about his day at work etc. You know the drill.

While some go out and buy ice-cream, or have a good cry in the car while listening to some sappy song on the radio, or watch go have a good karaoke session with girlfriends, I...I...

Sign up with some online dating sites. Because I panicked. I panicked thinking about my age and how I am not getting any younger. How I would never be able to bear any kids and OMG how on earth am I going to change the light bulbs when I am too old, too weak, too sickly and too fat to climb the ladder?

Sad, I know.

In bouts of panic, I'd sign up to whatever it is that is available. Except that I get stuck with the profile - I mean, how do you try to come off witty and sexy and alluring and mysterious when all you feel is PANIC STATION PANIC STATION SOMEONE PRESS THE RED BUTTON.

So two things would happen - either I'd abandon the effort half way or worst...I'd revisit the site on my next panic attack. I'd doggedly think of a witty repartee for my profile. And wait.

When the responses starts to trickle in (I mean, let's admit it, I'm no Mona Lisa), I'd panic again. Is this guy for real? Who'd fall for me? OMG is he just in to just have a shag? OMG is he a pervert? Who'd want to shag a fat middle-aged geriartric like me? OMG OMG PANIC STATION PANIC STATION PANIC STATION.

And so it goes.

Next time it happens, I'd just scoff some choccies and weep in the car listening to Adele.

Life's a bitch I tell you.

The Great Big Bad Wolf Sale

2011-10-08T17:34:00.004+08:00

The crowd at 10am

This event, I wait in anticipation. Because unlike the other book warehouse sales, this one's reallllyyy good. Books are really too expensive here in Malaysia. During my voracious reading times, I'd go through at least one a week. Now that I have lesser time to twiddle my thumb and contemplate on my navel, I shamefully admit I read once in a few months. Shameful!

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about how many books I read. I am here to give you tips about the Big Bad Wolf Sale 2011 happening NOW in MAEPS, Serdang. Oh, whenever someone say BBW sale, I keep thinking Big Beautiful Woman.

Kau nak jual perempuan gemuk kat mana?

Soooo...like I said, the Big Bad Wolf Sale is going on from 7th - 16th October, from 10am to 9pm at MAEPS Serdang. Details like maps etc can be found here.

It's really very easy to get to MAEPS:

a) If you are coming from LDP - take last LDP toll towards Cyberjaya, then take 2nd left exit (to Serdang/Putrajaya etc). Pass Shell/Housing area, then take left exit immediately after (about 5 mins drive from Shell). Just follow the sign.

b) If you are from PLUS, take the Serdang toll exit, follow the Cyberjaya/Putrajaya sign; pass Serdang Hospiral, IOI resort and about 10 mins, take left exit that says MAEPS.

Tips no #2, weekends are likely to be CRAZY. But it's OK, it's a HUGE place, it's air-conditioned. There are activities for kids, there's food and drinks outside should you go hungry (and we did) and most importantly, the toilets are clean hehe.

#3 - Come early if you can. We arrived at 10 sharp-ish and it was already crowded. At 12, there was a long queue to get in. We were grateful we came early.

The crowd at 12. Macam ulat tahik.

#4 - Bring a trolley! They give you boxes and at RM8 per book, they're a steal so, really, the box will kill your box after about 10 minutes of lugging around. Some even brought their wheeled suitcases which I thought was a jolly good idea. My trolley stinks of fish smell because it was primarily use for marketing so I was lugging a jolly huge Toys R Us shopping bag.

My back is suffering from it now. Sigh.

#5 - Park at Parking A. It's a bit of a hike but don't worry because there are available shuttle buses.

#6 - The nasi ayam was good, according to Banuners. I had the Pizza Hut's personal pan pizza and it was decent.

#7 - Check out is relatively painless. There are a lot of counters which accepts both credit card (Visa and MasterCard only) and cash. Two per counter - one to count/administer/pack your books, the other at the cash machine. 30 books done in less than 3 minutes. Even if your book was not tagged, they were able to quickly get the price. Amazeballs.

#8 - OUB credit card holders gets an extra 5% discount. And if you sign up with them, you get a RM20 book voucher. If you are not interested to get a credit card from them, they're quite a nuisance asthey'd be bugging you especially if you're browsing near the entrance (Bestsellers, Coffee Table Books and Cooking).

#9 - Only one Bryson book which I already have :-(. No Sedaris. No Dave Barry but that's normal :-(. Only one table for Humour.

#10 - Far too many Cecelia Ahern and Nora Roberts. WHYYY?

#11 - Once you get your books and you want to "audit" them to see which ones are better, there are very little chairs around. You either sit on the floor and sort them books OR you can scoot outside (near the OUB registration table) and seat yourself there. However, those seats are actually meant for pregnant ladies and old atuks while waiting for their shuttle. So best bet is to just plonk yourself on the floor. I am fat and have a bad back so I had to wheedle and beg to the nice Big Bad Wolf Officer.

The 30 (thereabouts) books I bought will be adding another 100++ of Book I Have Been Buying At Warehouse Sales But Have Yet To Read. Sigh. Next year perhaps, when I'm done with my MBA.

My loot? About 30 books at the total of only RM176. A steal, I tell you.

This Little Problem

2011-09-26T06:00:00.000+08:00

I have this little problem, you see.

My mother is worrying her pretty little head that if my parents die, I will be left alone in this bad, bad, bad world to fend for myself. I mean, of course, I am a horrificly lazy bum who doesn't do much housework and mom still cooks and does my laundry and all that but she's forgotten that before they came to stay with me, I did OK. I mean, I obviously did not turn bulimic due to my starving to death now, innit? And ish, I am nearing 40 dah kot?

I supposed I do see where she is coming from...it has been what? 5 years since my last relationship (the one after that didn't count because I didn't feel lurvvvvee for him) and so you know, they think it's prime time for me to find myself a man.

Sigh.

It's not that I don't want to. Not anymore.

OK tipulah.

It's like this. Things like love and jodoh and finding the right man etc...it's beyond my comprehension. Add that to the age factor (wrong side of 30s), weight factor (no market di Malaysia, tanah airku) and mulut-longkang factor, the...pickings, as it were, are rather slim, IMHO.

Am I worried? Of course. I do worry if I would last until age 50 or more and I am unable to change my light bulbs or tukar langsir because they won't be any able bodied man to help me because I am too old or too weak or too heavy or too sakit sendi to climb the heights to do it myself.

Or when I jatuh sakit, I probably just keel over and die, alone in front of the TV ke apa (happened to a collegemate of mine, colleagues broke into his house after 3 days. So sad, he was such a good person, too).

But I suppose, given the choices, insya-Allah, I'll have people (friends and family) to help me out.

I just can't be bothered because this jodoh thing is so beyond my reach - I mean, what am I to do? Menjaja diri di alam maya dan platform-platform social media? I can't do that. Akak malu taw uols.

Pakai baju kelakar and cangkung basuh pinggan? Can't do that either, lutut dah out.

So anyway, my mother...she has been, you know, peppering her conversations with suggestions to capture "Opportunities". Katanya.

Like, one time when I was telling her about my classmates..."Ha, kan dia single, napa tak nak tekel?"

Or, "Kan awak baik dengan dia? Kenapa tak nak tekel?"

Or this morning when I told her excitedly about the corner lot at the end of our new house is actually a homestay; so my aunties and cousins can come over and we won't have to worry about logistics because we can just rent out from the owner nanti.

And her reply was "Ha, dah ada tempat tu senang lah nak buat kenduri kahwin. Now your job is to go find a laki."

POTONG STIMMMMMM.

So I replied: "OK, nanti tengok lah aku keluar sekejap lagi nanti aku carik mana-mana Bangla boleh sauk jadik laki."

Seriously!

Tapi orang tua menjawab OK. Dia kata, "Aku lebih sanggup kau jadi Bini No. 2 dari kahwin Bangla."

Eh, memilih lak orang tua Kitat ni. Buat betul-betul kang.

The Still Sarcastic Four Year Old

2011-09-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

"I'm so weak Yeen, look, my battery is this smaaaall, Yeen"

The Four Year Old pinched his fingers together to show how weak his "battery" is. Yeah, he sometimes thinks he is Ironman and he is "SuperFAST!" (Cakap dalam American accent ye kawan-kawan).

After meals and teh-with-many-aish, he came to me beaming.

He patted his tummy and exclaimed, excitedly:

"Look Yeen! My battery is now full! See!"

"See Yeen, my battery just like you!" *pat-pats perut*

Kurang asam. Nak kata aku gemok lah ni.

The Sarcastic Four Year Old

2011-09-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

"Ijat, can you see if my iPad is under the bed?"

The Four Year old bend and looked under the bed.

"No, Yeen," he replied, voice quite muffled.

"Just dust bunnies," he added, muka deadpan gila.

Kurang asam punya budak.

"Dah! Turun!"

Hmph.

Drenched in Phuket

2011-09-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

So I wrote this little story about Cambodia and won a 3D/2N stay at this rather swanky resort in Phuket.

I arrived and it was POURING in rain. It rained non-stop right until the day I was to leave...then it shone so brightly, the bald heads set on fire when they step out.

Sigh. Story of my life.

Anyway, I know I've mentioned it before, but seriously, how come Malaysia cannot emulate other countries (e.g. Thailand and Cambodia come to mind) when it comes to public toilets? They have plenty of them, with water taps and it's still dry and unsmelly. For Patong beach, I just need to pay 5 baht. ONLY. Sometimes, even the RM2 toilets in KLCC is rather suspect.

Patong was its usual touristy heaven - or hell, depending who you talked to. Massage was aplenty - they range from 250baht up for an hour of foot massage. Some are good, some are pure crap but hey, I'm not complaining.

So as I was at this foot massage place which was in an open area so it was a relaxing session of getting your feet nicely tended to while watching the tourists going about. There I was, being kneaded by this girl, when I saw a bunch of farangs - what we call Mat Salleh walking past. They were obviously tourists - they were loud but their shirts are louder. One caught my eye.

It's not be he was shirtless and buffed. He was shirtless but Adonis he wasn't. He had a physique of a retired rugby player (you know, short and stout just like that teapot song); with wavy blonde hair and a bit of a gut. His body was covered with tattoos. Loads of them. Well, he had the look of a retired rugby player who is now a full time motorbiker. The Harley D types. Or something more meaner looking.

Still there was nothing unusual about that. By "that" I mean sepetang di Bangla Street di Pantai Patong in Phuket.

What was unusual, apart from the fact that he had the nerve of steel to be parading around shirtless with that body that was, ahem, something short of the Adonis scale (and by short, I mean, by a coupla hundred kilometres at least!) was the fact that he...

had boobs.

Not manboobs - the kind that tautly hangs on to a large man with even larger bellies. This is the OMG it's grabbable types. The kind that fits a C-cup bras nicely.

The girls at the massage place started to giggle and I was so perplexed, I asked them:

Is that a man or a woman?

One giggled and said woman which elicited a whoop of WHAAAATTT? from me.

The girl who massaged me said, NO, he is a man.

"I know! I asking him this morning. He say he man. I say I dont belip him. So I say, I wan touch him. He say OK can touch. I touch him and he man! He man but put silicone on his here!" (While pointing to the general area where boobs should be).

Kau mampu?!

The Four Year Old

2011-09-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

How the hell do I pusing the picture? GRR.

The Four Year old is this precocious, adorable kid and I love him to bits. Unfortunately, he won't be with us for long because our new abode takes us further from his Mommy's and Babah's home. Oh woe, he has been our sunshine and source for much merriment in our home.

If I read him correctly, I think his brain is wired to only one thing - how to manipulate the world into acquiring MORE TOYS. He hates school - he said he already knows everything and that there's just "too many people".

I think I understand - I too, find some places are just too full of people, sometimes.

His mommy, exasperated, went as far as telling him - no School means no TOYS. If you buy Toys, Mommy will hanger you.

He agrees to this arrangement; kau fikir dia give in? Addinch OK.

One day, at a very busy mall, he started to have a tantrum and begged (yes, begged) the Mommy to "hanger him" because he spied a toy that he liked. His Mommy was suitably mortified - I mean, the people were probably wondering how she raises the 4 Year Old for him to act like that.

The other time, while cuddling up to my mom, her nanny also de facto Mak Angkat to him, he asked my Mother how come she's not in school (and not harassed about it, unlike him).

My Mother, not thinking much about it, replied very action-ly, that she didn't have to, she's old and she had gone to school "A LONG TIME AGO" anyway.

His eyes bulged excitedly.

"Mama!" he exclaimed.

"Then you can buy TEN TOYS!"

I warned his Mommy - He's going to grow up as a politician. You better be careful.

Note:

1) Ten is a Gajillion to this Four Year Old.

2) His theory is = No School = No Toys. So if Go School = Gets Toys. Smart.

Ten Ten Tengggg...

2011-09-12T09:28:00.001+08:00

Allow me to be pretentious about attempting to pretentiously blog about world affairs; but actually, only a thinly veiled entry about me, me, me.

Eh, cam biasa la kan? Heh heh.

Anyway, yesterday as the entire world knows it, was the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 massacre.

Currently, I am at a place where I have access to some other news channel and was much entertained by the coverage by Russia Today network. Never a fan of the International Police of America, they had a segment where they interviewed the Afghans about 9/11.

Apparently, as many as 90% of Afghans do not know, much less care by 9/11. They interviewed first these two young kids, who said they're only farmers, so, sorry, we dont know no nine elev-whaa? They interviewed a few elderly men and showed that building and one commented, how can Afghanistan attack US if they cant even afford a donkey?

How indeed, Mr. Bush jr, how indeed.

Anyway, my recollection of 9/11 was of me frantically trying to reach an ex who was residing and working in DC and apparently nearby the bombed area. We finally spoke, after hours and hours of trying to call him. He was fine, he said, but please pray for him. I bawled after I put down the telephone, fretting with worry.

Tis the sweetheart who made my friends in Singapore take the flight up to KL and then made them read this very smarmy email on how he loves, cherish and wants me to be his future wife, when I was in coma. Who called his mom, crying, on hearing of my condition.

Who, despite all the promises to, to his mom, to *my* mom, develop another relationship behind my back, not many months after that. Who told me, that she was The One, because she is physically more attractive and "dengar kata". She's not and I was too, dammit!

Inretrospect, I shudda prayed for the bomb to drop on his head instead. Pundek betul.

I was once cute, dammit!

2011-08-26T18:39:00.001+08:00

Then it went downhill. Cry, cry.

Teehee

2011-05-12T18:24:00.000+08:00

Friend A to Friend B: You know, just now, Friend C crossed the road from Pavillion to our hotel suka-suka only!

Friend B: *GASP* WHAT??

Frien B to Friend C: were you JAYWALKING?

Me: *Laugh*

Singaporeans...gotta love their sense of decorum, man.

Conversations with the Momma

2011-02-26T12:40:00.003+08:00

My mother, Allah bless her kind lovely soul, has finally learnt how to SMS.

After four, nay, FIVE years of coaxing/coaching/teaching/showing (sometimes, with the added hair pulling, eyes rolling, tut-tutting and even very, very loud sighing) her how do it.

We nearly keluar beli no. ekor that day when she managed, all on her own, to reply "No" to one of the SMS-es. We are proud of Mama!

We have rightly, turned her into a right SMS-freak. She now SMS us all the time!

She reminds us of our appointments:
"Sementara Mama ingat awak kena pergi hospital pd 1 mac ini jangan lupa."
"Adik jangan lupa nanti awak kena pos pd mama roadtax so kami boleh renew."
"Leen adik kerja baru tadi dpt emaiml ptg karang dpt letter offer...alsomama cakap nanti boss semua salah dia haja betul..satu dan dua akan ke kl utk kursus."

(She obviously haven't learnt how to use punctuation marks hehe).

She updates me on the Four YO's gelagat at home:
"Tadi pun Ezad pun cakap sepaish kpd ayah tak habis2".

She now knows how to use her mobile phone for m-commerce:
"Leen where are you kalau bolehkan Impiana edisi Jan-Mac Dapur belikan pls".
"Ubat tinggal 2 kotak."
"Leen tolong belikan minyak urut Afiat."

She also now knows how to order the dispense of her meds from Putrajaya hosp to be delivered right to our house. Cool huh?

She also now plans her co-curiculum activity with her phone:
"Leen Mak Eda kata in Sg Buloh ada macam Tangkak hehe"

But her best SMS so far:

"Leen Mama pun nak jam omega macam nicole kidman pakai...ayah kata kalau muka mama macam nicole baru dia belikan. Betul kurang asam."

*giggles* Gotta love my parents, man.

Do You Remember?

2011-02-21T16:46:00.002+08:00

What you wrote when you were a wee schoolgirl with uniform yang belt always either tercabut bucklenya or hilang altogether? Or when your pigtail, all nice and tight and shiny during the morning (or early afternoon) then by noon (or evening), jadi seperti orang gila di Chowkit menggerbang or the getah loose dekat leher? And your socks, dear god, how did it roll so tight around your ankles like that?

Let's not talk about your earlier pristine white blouse hehe.

Well do you remember those days then?

Remember we had those forms that we had to fill in - and they'd ask us what we want to be when we grow up? Do we want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a lecturer or a teacher or apa-apa lah. Standard answers during my time would've been: doctos, lawyer, police, teacher, lecturer, engineer, accountant and I believe the occasional architect.

I said I wanted to be a marine biologist and erm, I can't remember. No, I didn't know what a marine biologist job entails. I knew I like water and I've been to Seaworld and that was awesome.

And remember you had these little snippets in newsletters or annual magazine or essays or whatever where you'd have to write "What would you be 20 years from now?". I was 12 if I was not mistaken. Twenty years was so so so long still. I wrote that I am likely to be successful in my career (ecewah) - a Manager I believed I said, owns a house, with a husband and 3 kids. Or was it 4?

Come 20 years (take and plus a number of years :P), all I have to my name is a bloody painful pimple tepi hidung gua.

Sakit, sial.

The World is Not Fair

2011-01-24T12:47:00.002+08:00

How is that someone who writes on banal stuff like kangkung goreng and blogs with atrocious grammar like "famousity" gets RM1 million with her blog?

WHY?

WHYYYYYYY??

I am so bitter. At most I was able to get was erm I think RM90? And that's over the period of TWO YEARS. TWO YEARS!

Lepas lah duit minyak seminggu.

*silence*

*burung berkicau*

...And some few hours, a tosai breakfast, some fruits and a nasi ayam goreng later...I am still miffed.

Kenapa? Aku ni tak cukup cool dan famousity untuk dapat RM12k a month keee?

Grr

2011-01-05T00:03:00.002+08:00

So there we were lazing around like lazy bums we were, during our recent trip to Penang.

Sekky, curious, asked me about the little bruise on my arm:

Apa tu, sekmok?

I, trying to be funny, answered, quite nonchalantly -

Hickey.

Sekky, answered, just as dead-panned:

Oh, dia tak jumpa leher kau ke, sekmok?

HAHAHAHAHAH. Cilaka.

Sekky 1 Sekmok 0. Tak pe, hari ni hari kau. Nanti hari, hari aku.

Another Conversation with Mama

2010-12-18T12:17:00.003+08:00

Mother: Asal rambut kau ni kembang2 macam sakai gunung? Did you comb your hair?

Me: Don't blame me for the deficiency of your genes!

*cepat2 lari keluar pergi kerja*

Mother: Kurang ajor punya anak.

Dalam Rumah Ini ada Undang-Undang...

2010-11-18T10:31:00.002+08:00

Now, the most influential person in my office, or rather, the most authoritative person in my office, is not the office gossip...or the office bicycle (sadly, there's none. We're not *that* sort of organisation. We're all good, hardworking people here *cough*); but, our office cleaner.

Lest you think that she is *only* a cleaner, she knows all of our names, better than even some of us. She knows where everyone is seated and knows each cubicle, shelves, cabinet and even light bulbs. We think she secretly runs our organisation.

Anyway, my workplace is lovely in that they stock the pantry twice a month with good stuff - cereal, nestum, biccies and assortment of air kotak. And oh, yoghurt. The fast moving items are milo and yoghurt, slowest being soya. Anyway, some days, the pantry empties faster than you can say "whoah, pantry dah empty?".

So one of my esteemed colleague, thinking of getting an air kotak milo for himself, or yoghurt, or even, soya bean, opened our empty fridge and saw only the measly mineral water and susu pekat.

"DAH HABIS DAH AIR KOTAK?" he exclaimed, rather loudly (you can tell right, by the way I have helpfully capped his conversation hehe).

The cleaner was nearby, going about her tasks. She stopped and glared at him and bellowed:

HARUS BERSYUKUR KAMU!

We laughed when we heard her retort, tapi in retrospect...we really should kan?

So, Alhamdulillah, thank you for being able to live up to today to enjoy the air kotak milos, yoghurt and nestum.

Hikayat Saya dan Ibu Saya

2010-11-15T11:10:00.003+08:00

Sedang saya tergesa-gesa menatang tas tangan, beg gym dan kunci kereta sambil menyarung kasut kerja; ibu menyapa saya:

"Apa nak jadi dengan dunia sekarang. Kesian orang tua ni, kena tetak kepala dengan anak sendiri," ibu mengeluh sambil membaca suratkhabar Harian Metro

Ya, kami langgan Harian Metro. Rugi beb kalau tak langgan, banyak cerita sensasi yang nikmat dibaca sambil makan nasi panas-panas.

Saya membalas, "Orang tua tu kuat bebel kat anak dia kot...macam Mama."

Saya hanya mendengar suara ibu saya sayup-sayup, "Kurang hajor punya anak."

You Alls?

2010-09-17T11:09:00.000+08:00

Nama aku Leen you alls! Jangan la panggil Lynn ke Lynne ke. Aku geli OK. Penat bapak aku peluh-peluh ketiak pikir nama yang dia rasakan best (Dia rasa nama sekarang ni lagi best dari ahem Adeliana Leonora – or something; that was the first draft *HORROR*) and rush-rush pergi Jabatan Pendaftaran semua. Only to have her firstborn be called *eeps* LYNN.

Aku geli, noks.

Anyway, how was you alls punya raya? Meriah? Sambar? Eh Sambar lak. HAMBAR LAH. (Sesuka kau je kan Leen). Mine was aight, you alls. Spent two days in Kay Hell then left for Muor on 3rd day to visit Dad’s relatives. Stayed at a spooky hotel but otherwise, it was a great outing – met up with relevant relatives; dapat makan seafood kat Alai, went to raya rumah Lina and stock up on Kopi 434, Kaya and Buns. Alhamdulilah.

And now I shit in my pants because my Economy Analysis exams is mere days away and I had not done much revising. Also? I haven’t started on the group assignment where we are to assess my company. Astaga apa nak jadik dengan aku ni you alls.

Oh you alls nak tahu, punya lah aku ni jakun nak mati. Ada sekali tu kan, aku keluar pergi Jaya Jusco dengan emak tersayang sebab nak stock up on groceries. Sakan ni shopping semua, dah tu bila dah settle semua, aku tergamam sebab tak boleh start kereta.

Punya lah berpeluh ketiak.

Nak kata battery kena tukar, kereta kira agak baru lah masa tu, so tak mungkin la tak? Bila nak start engine, dia keluar bunyi alarm yang sungguh…alarming you all. Aku serious dah peluh ketiak sebab aku takut orang ingat aku curik kereta orang.

So beriya lah telefon orang sini-sana, buat kecoh tak pasal as usual. (That’s the way I roll, yo). Then, mintak tolong 3-Year Old punya mak bapak datang Jaya Jusco bawak kunci spare. So mak bapak budak 3-year Old ni pun datang lah car park Jaya Jusco dengan kunci spare.

ALAMAKKKKK. Tak boleh jugakkkk. Musibat betul. Apa aku nak buat ni, you alls?

Nasib baik lah 3-year Old punya bapak ni sedikit terrer (atau terrel, kalau blog ini ditulis oleh aku masa aku kecik2 dulu. Sesuka hati je cakap terrel), so dia pun dok selidik siasat.

ASTAGA. Rupanya you alls, aku tak tutup boot dengan rapat. So, kekdahnya, kereta pun takkan boleh start as safety precaution. Rasa nak campak diri dari tingkat 2 Jaya Jusco masa tu OK. Benda-benda macam ni pun boleh lepa. Sigh.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri you alls. Kalau agak2 budget dah tercantas bulan-bulan sengkek ni, donweri. Serdak kuih tart kan ada. Hiks.

You Alls!

2010-09-07T02:46:00.003+08:00

You alls nak tahu cerita kelakar tak?

Kalau tak nak pun, korang nak buat apa ya dak? Aku nak cerita jugak.

This Ramadhan has been a somewhat trying month for me. I think I slept on average of 3-5 hours daily and it’s taking a toll on my ailing and deteriorating body. So I am mostly tired and left in a constant zombielike/screen saver stage which is, as you know, not a good thing. It’s not good also, that you have had some invitations to Iftar with friends outside...so your time is spent outside your home a lot more than inside – where you can shave some hours to rest.

Anyway, saying babi as khinzir and then now buka puasa as Iftar is so effing pretentious kan? Tak boleh ke call a spade a spade and a babi tonyok a babi tonyok? Boleh kan?

I digress as usual. So where was I?

Yes, yes, I have been tired. Long hours, little sleep yadiyadiya.

So the other night, I had yet another ahem, Iftar outside the house somewhere in, oh bugger I can’t remember now.

Oh, I can. It was at Las Vacas. Damn good shite that place. You guys have to cekidaut yo.

Anyway, seeing the petrol tank was running on empty, I stopped by at the Esso nearby to my place and filled Joyah Seks accordingly. I was very tired by then, was yawning big, huge er, yawns. Then I felt something was amiss.

Strange, I thought.

Strange. How come this fuel handle felt warm. Like the petrol was hot.

Except it wasn’t petrol at all. It was DIESEL.

Bodoh tak bodoh?

I don’t know whether I wanted to cry ke, laugh ke, go hysterical ke apa.

Dahl ah half a tank already. Clever kan?

p/s: Post event – Dadster came with a guy who works at a car workshop so we’re able to settle the crisis. (i.e. tow the car in the morning for them to drain the pipes etc.)

pp/s: They ALL told me how lucky I am that I had enough sense to not start the car. engine I don’t know whether to feel chuffed because they felt I was clever enough to not start car etc after putting in petrol or insulted because they sounded surprised that I wasn’t that stupid as t on the car engine upon realising my mistake. :-P

Hai Semua!

2010-09-06T17:22:00.002+08:00

Saya mohon ampun dan maaf.

Saya sudah menyepi dari dunia blogging ini setelah sekian lama. 3 bulan lebih! Ini mesti rekod baru, saya fikir. Saya terlalu sebok dengan kerjaya, urusan ko-kurikulum di tempat kerjaya, dengan famili, dengan pelajaran. Saya tidak sangka, menyambung pelajaran adalah perkara yang agak sukar. Saya yang masih bujang (oh sedih) tanpa laki, anak2 kecil menguit pun merasakan agak susah untuk menumpukan perhatian kepada pelajaran.

Oh saya sudah tersimpang jauh, seperti biasa.

Saya mengeluarkan entri ini hanya untuk mengucapkan selamat hari raya aidil fitri kepada semua rakan-rakan dan pembaca saya (yang 4 orang itu, termasuk diri saya sendiri, selalunya). Saya mohon ampun dan maaf atas segala kesilapan saya, especially part yang maki hamun korang itu. Jika balik kampung nanti, pesan saya semoga awak tidak penat dan mengantuk dan tidak lalai. Kalau rasa nak mamai, baik uols stop kat R&R uols. Tapi kalau southbound R&R Pagoh keras sikit ops.

Sapa-sapa nak bagi duit raya kat saya, amatlah dialu-alukan!

Eyes Wide Shut

2010-05-31T16:24:00.002+08:00

After the long haul of KL-Kulim-KL last weekend and witnessing the superb performance that was Faizal Tahir's Adrenalin Showcase in HRC last night, I pretty much look like what the cat dragged in today at the office. To paraphrase an eloquent colleague: You looked like you've been through Hell.

I was, good sir, I was.

So here we are on a blearghy Monday afternoon where I am to decipher a gomen-document, all 209 pages of it and come back to my boss on the morrow with some clever POVs about it. Which is fine if I had some semblance of brain with me. Sigh, sigh. I usually operate on a screen-saver mode and today especially, I am running on empty.

Whoaaah, I'm full of cliches today aren't I.

So anyway, Faizal Tahir's showcase was spectacular, despite the fact that I am mostly underneath someone's armpits and I could only see him clearly via the TV screen and not "live" per se. But his voice. Ahh. If someone sings Hanyut to me as well as he does, I'd marry him right this instant. Actually, I also say that to anyone who can sing lagu-lagu sedemikian: Patience, Runaway Train, Bohemian Rhapsody dan Somebody tetapi apakah malang betul nasib aku sebab takde sorang pun nak nanyikan lagu2 ini. Sigh, sigh.

So I sent Sekky and Abang Level 5 (hehe) home and then drove back and did some barn-ing, read some pages of Dexter and slept at 4. Padan la muka ini.

Now that the mini-concert is over, there's not much to look forward for now, is there. Oooh. Except Krabi trip with the girls!! And this time it's almost cukup quorum! Her Highest Priestess Banuners is making her maiden...oh shit. Maiden apa? Oh, appearance!

So yes, tis Krabi trip will be good. I hope this time, we'll be able to find the elephants. Teehee.

Alright, 5 minutes is up. I gotta start on page 2 of 209. Sigh, sigh.

Oh How I Miss Thee

2010-05-31T02:33:00.002+08:00

You know, I miss blogging. I think I've said it before in my previous post kan? But I do, I do. I miss having had verbal diarrhea on everything and nothing. I miss having to expel my biased judgements and pseudo intelligentsia on everyday nothings. I miss ranting and raving about idiots in my small universe.

And yes, I do realise, that in some other people's small universe, they are also probably bitching, ranting and raving about me too. I have no qualms about that. Mak sedar siapa diri mak uols.

Tapi life zips so fast when you're having fun. If you call staying awake for 48 hours trying to complete assignment fun, that is. And that Lose Big programme is also taking a HUGE chunk of my time. Between assignments and torture sessions with the hunky beefy PTs at the gym trying to lose this very degil blobs of fat, I have very little time for other essentials; like sleep and breathe.

And, and, above all...I have lost the will to blog. I have nothing else to blog about. After eight years (Woo, I first blogged on 7th July 2002 - in Xanga), I finally ran out of things to talk about.

But I seriously miss blogging. How lah? How to solve this particular conundrum of mine yo.

So how have youse guys been?

Ya Rabbiiiii apa nak jadik niiiii.

2010-05-11T17:16:00.002+08:00

Oh mannn. It's been ages. I mean, do people blog still? Sometimes, my brain will go on overdrive and I have this verbal diarrhea that just needs to be uh, purged (pardon my er, euphemism - hiks, katanyaaa) but then having a memory of a dead goldfish, the urge will just pass by after maybe two seconds.

Oooh the things I want to say and rant about sometimes. But then, some things are best left inside your brain.

But anyway, I am looking to change this humble blog of mine. Not that 3.4 of you care (or even read heh heh) but I am looking to change the layout and everything else because after years of having the same template, it's about time I change, innit.

Don't know about content though. I have, as far as I can remember, failed at every single attempt to rev-up my blog keh keh. Oh well.

So um, what's everyone been up to? Uols sapot team mana for World Cup?

Conversations with the Mother Pt 1 of uh, maybe just One.

2010-03-17T14:34:00.002+08:00

So the phone buzzed in the morning at the office and it was me mom.

So she blathered about this and that, reporting the antics of the two kids - Jose and Ijat and generally playing catch up even though I return home everyday and I talk with her every night before I go to bed.

So she was saying how she couldn't sleep until 5am last night. Alarmed, I had begun to think the worst...could it be her meds? Her coughing? Her asthma getting worser? Why hadn't she called me when she got her asthma attack in the wee hours? Should I just chuck her at the hospy so that she'll be observed by the doctors?

Eh tak lah, Mama tak boleh tidur sebab Mama susah hati.

And, the cause of her temporary insomnia was this :-P.

She was just waiting to get up so that she could switch on Sports centre at 7am to find out the results. She could've watched the match too, of course, but she wouldn't because she believes she'll jinxed the match. When Jose was coaching Chelsea, the very few times that she watches the game (only to see Jose's pouts, I believe, but she won't mengaku one lah), Chelsea would've lost even though they had majority control of the ball. So she has learnt *not* to watch any game, especially if it's as important as a Chelsea vs Inter Milan one.

So she couldn't sleep almost the entire night because she was agonising whether Inter has won or not. (Yes, she has since switched alliance from Chelsea to Inter because of Mourinho of course. Teeny bopper sangat kan? Hiks).

I would want to tell her dreams about Jose Mourinho, but if she knows I write in my blog about that, she'll kill me. Or worse. She'll stop feeding me *AND* stop doing my laundry.

And we can't have that now, can we?

Do you Wonder?

2010-03-11T17:42:00.002+08:00

What people think about you?

If they think of you at all?

If they think you’re an awesome possum or if you’re just Satan’s saggy scrotum?

Do you ever wonder at all?

I don’t know why I thought this would be a good blog idea but I did at that time. I don’t even know what to write about now, dammit.

Butchuknow, I feel a bit kasihan if you think you’re so best among all your friends and sebenarnya you’re not kan? OMG I would be absolutely mortified to suddenly find out all my friends have only just tolerated me all this while. Selama-lama ni I syok sendiri thought I’m the bees’ knees sekali tu I am just the git’s cheese.

(Bada-bing! Thank you! Thank you! You’ve been a kind audience.)

Damn, I still can’t remember what was it that led me to want to talk about what people think of us. And if we should care at all?

I know some people are sayin’ why bother what people say aboutchu and all that but you know, I think it’s OK - it sorta edits yourself so that you know you won’t be lelebey like that? Yew get worramean?

Fuck lah this is getting nowhere.

And I’m only continuing this post because I thought Satan’s saggy scrotum was right funny. And git’s cheese *teehee*.

So anyway, the point of my post is this: I meant to say, do you care what people think about you? Not the types that will leave your soul broken but them snide remarks yang akan patahkan semangat for maybe oh, I don’t know? Five minutes?

You know the kind? The back-handed compliments?

Like, you nanyi sedap tapi kalau you tak nanyi lagi sedap?

Or, you ni gelap/ketiak hitam kan? Mesti susah nak carik baju/lipstick/deodorant.

Or, I faham orang-orang tembam macam you mesti rasa depressed selalu sebab rasa low self esteem kan? I understand.

(BTW, the last one was a paraphrase from some fookeykambing who thought I needed some pep talk because she thinks all fat people have low self-esteem problems. 1. I don’t have low self-esteem, asswipe. 2. She's fat yourself.)

So anywayyyy. Do you wonder at all ah?

I know what people think of me – well, some lah. Because I have had the luck to have some friends who say it as it is.

Temperamental is one. Voice so small when angry, only dogs can hear is another *looks at Bad*. Varying degrees of weirdness is er, normal. I’m sure there are nastier ones but I’m quite deaf and downright dense so I probably didn’t/couldn’t hear them.

If not, penatlah the Tanggathirai semangat asyik kena summon je hiks.

You what what sucks?

2010-02-20T12:42:00.001+08:00

I tell you what sucks lah.

It sucks when you are suddenly jolted out of your very restful slumber. It was restful because it’s a Saturday and there’s no class therefore there’s no need to frantically read up on your lecture notes because there’s no quizzes, no exams, no group discussions and no assignments to prepare. It was restful because you actually had more than 3 hours of sleep. So it was a very, very restful slumber.

But then suddenly you developed this excruciating pain at your calf and it hurts like a bitch that you were jolted out of your restful slumber. It was the kind of pain that is so excruciating – the kind that gives you an instant headache upon you being jolted out from your slumber. The kind that makes you launch into a million curses because you not only have this excruciating pain at your calf; you also have a pounding headache – like someone is pounding the back of your head with a huge tree trunk.

So you were jolted out from your restful slumber. You woke up with a start and the next thing you know, you were on the floor. You were on the floor because for some weird reason, you usually sleep at the very, very edge of your bed even though your bed is a comfortable king-sized one but you chose to sleep at the edge of the right side of bed. Which is really stupid because you know, you’re sleeping alone and the way things are heading, it’s unlikely you’ll be sharing the bed with anyone anytime soon anyway so you should really, really move your ample self to the middle of the bed the next time.

So anyway, you woke up with a start, with a pounding headache, slipped off the bed and dropped down to the floor like a (very heavy) sack of potatoes.

*PLONK*

You fell.

And your hands flailed about in a very funny way (I’m sure you’ll find it funny once you got over being chagrined over the fact that you fell off your bed because of that excruciating pain in your calf and that pounding headache that don’t seem to want to go away). It was funny but not quite. It was not particularly funny when your hands flailed to the wrong direction. It flailed towards the thrash bin which was beside the bed and your flailed hand made contact with the trash bin and out came the contents inside. Nothing too icky but still.

And now you still have that pain in your calf (thankfully, it has abetted some thanks to Yoko Yoko), a pounding headache AND you have to clean and sweep and mop your room because of your clumsy hands flailing at the wrong direction when you plonked down the bed because you slept too close to the edge of the bed where you fell off due to the excruciating pain in your calf and that stupid pounding headache.

Sucks, I tell you.

Life's Important Lessons

2010-02-12T17:27:00.002+08:00

Uh-oh! Light bulb moment!

I know I have said this so many times but I somehow feel this warrants a reminder:

It is VERY IMPORTANT for you to invest in good undergarments.

Ladies, while you might bring sexy back (and get lucky thereafter) when wearing the flimsiest, laciest g's, it ain't so sexy when you get em visit from Miss P halfway through a very important and crucial audit meeting.

Although, having said that, you probably can check your calendar first before donning afore mentioned lacy g-string.

And, I have it on good authority that when one has the runs (damn them blasted food you tar-pao for dinner!), your sexy G-string jadik stinky G-string.

I'm all for cotton grandma panties! Hidup Marks & Spences boring bunga kecik-kecik (dan pastel coloured) gramma panties!

But having owned grandma panties does not, automatically elevate you to Super Cool Being (I'm sure many of you agree with me on this one teehee). Even if you are someone very high up in the food chain at your office, having million of minions running around to your bidding; where your portfolio is the all important human capital development; accounts, wages, competition and benefits - wearing grandma panties do not make you Cool.

Especially not, when you went out of the office toilet, saw two of your minions and barked instructions while snapping your panties.

Boss, tak cool OK?

You know how hard it is to keep a straight face while listening to her? Boleh mati tahan gelak.

Lessons Learnt: Invest in good quality undergarments - don't by pasar malam type grandma panties. They are likely to roll down your (flabby) tummy OR the getah senang longgar that you need to snap them up to their right positions all the time.

Numericals

2010-02-11T00:31:00.000+08:00

Let’s see if I still have it. I don’t think I do, tapi tak mengapalah kita cuba. Kan Danny Wood ada kata, “you gotta try. So I will try.” Let’s start with 1 to 10 and see what I can come up with.

1 – I am the 1^st daughter to my parents and 1^st grandchild to my grandparents. I know by telling this, I will be susceptible to all these bomoh types kan? Because I can give them powers ke apa kan? Die.

2 – I have two sisters. Sometimes they’re ungrateful. Most times, only one of them is – being an ungrateful twit, I mean.

3 – I am born on the Thirtieth day of the Third month. (At 12:12 midnight. Freaky or what?) Next month will be my Thirthy-sixth birthday...

4 – So I have four more years before I turn 40. AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!

5 – Alamak. Takde significant lah the no 5 in my life ni. Oh ada! I was once clever. I got 5As for Penilaian. Then it went downhill from there. Sigh.

6 – I was told that I apparently had a fling with this one male blogger who had the number six to his blog URL. It was laughable because all I did was met up with for tea one day when he was in the area. And doubly laughable because everyone knows that as far as Blogistan goes (actually, as far as the real world goes even), I never get asked about my spender colour (Lily Liver bird, you’re sorely missed. Come back!) I somehow am not enticing enough *pouts*.

7 – Seven years ago this month, I was hospitalised and the girl in the same room as I, died and I got to experienced first hand, what nurses and doctors do when that happened. I now know what “code blue” means.

8 – Eight years ago, I started a blog. Not here in Blogspot though, but here. Wah liao, no wonder I’m running out of juice. Eight bleedin’ years man! My first blog entry was dated 11^th July and I blogged about how a friend’s friend did a CPR on this choking guy and the guy eventually puked through his mouth and the friend of friend’s mouth.

Funny how I then regressed to talking about my own pangsai and tools later on eh? Teehee.

9 – is this avang kekar blogger who doesn’t seem to blog around much anymore. I’m running out of blogs to read! And Lily Liverbird, Shoppermom, Waffles, Bunny/Pudenda/Various other names She Calls herself, Mangolisa, Pugly, DramaMama, Cipan, Bad...EVERYONE! Come out, come out wherever you are! Jom la blog balik weh.

10 – I am trying to juggle work, classes, gym, lepak with friends, movies, theatres, financials, photography, more me time and BOOKS (both for studies and pleasure) but it’s very, very difficult. Yes, that’s ten. Count it. How to other people do it ah? Is it because I am not an over-achiever ka?

Ack

2010-02-10T19:32:00.000+08:00

I just read some of my older posts (yes, I am narcissistic like that).

Mannnn I used to ramble on so kan? And where the hell did I get my ideas from?

AND WHY ARE THEY NOT THERE ANYMOREEEE?

I miss blogging, I really do.

Ran/Man dom, bai.

2010-01-10T22:34:00.001+08:00

Why are Malays so defensive? Are they so afraid of our own keimanan and Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan that they are denying the others to Allah? Bukan Allah itu untuk semua ke?

And bombing churches and schools too! Sheesh. Apa objective? What do you think you’ll achieve by bombing? Kalau korang bomb terkena your neighbour’s kids, your young cousin ke even your anak sedara? Bodoh ke bingai kau ni?

And is it just me or are the other races more wary of each other nowadays? Been led to view some outbursts by Chinese how they hate being in some college because “there’s too many Malays.” Why do you hate us so much? There’s only a group of us yang bodoh, what. Why are they defensive? They shouldn’t be pun. What’s with the subsidy baja, placement at colleges and then Unis, bumi-only college, gomen-positions we are still not maju. The quality of our graduates are getting worse. If these privileges were given to you lots, you guys would’ve taken over the world already. So kenapa nak takut?

Ooh I so need to rebond my hair. This kerinting master knows no bounds one.

It’s already mid-January kan? I am so, so, so, so relieved that I have managed to actually actualise my resolutions, Alhamdulillah. Well, 90% of it. Firstly, I wanted to be learning something this year...anything. It started with a short class on vocals from KLPac and that was really something fun. Nothing came out of it, i.e. idak lah saya cut an album keee, backing vocals untuk Noryn Aziz ke apa. That wasn’t my objective pun. I just needed to know how to sing correctly. Then, Alhamdulillah, I am continuing my tertiary studies too. It’s early days yet, but it’s going to be alright, I feel it in my bones.

Early last year, I was rather depressed with the state of my being. Particularly, my health was rapidly swirling down down down. My asthma was somewhat stable but due to my ehem, vast mass, I am beginning to get complications, health-wise. So while hospitalised in April for that little procedure to remove nasty pus in my ear pit, I thought, I really got to do something about it. Thus began my very slow planning to actualise the Be Healthier campaign. Well, I eventually signed up to a gym and now have a very cute, albeit rather tough PT. I shouldn’t be proud about this, because I actually took quite a bit of time (11 months? Hiks) to actually sign up with the gym and it’s only 2+ months so it’s early days yet but it’s beginning to be a routine thing so I do hope that I’ll be able to keep at it.

I’ve also put a “reserve” resolution to do something more...grown up and I’m glad I’ve done the necessary steps towards that direction.

My resos this year? Heh. I’ll keep it to myself lah. It’s nothing earth shattering, but pretty much an extension of last year’s resolutions. So, wismilak!

OMG, Stacy and Siti Nurhaliza’s costumes masa performance kat AJL can surely transmit signs to outer space. So much silver! And somehow, somewhere, someone is missing their 80-themed wedding centre pieces because Misha took them all to fasten at the side of her skirt. Is that even legal?

And I don’t know why but I am still very much affected by Yasmin’s Ahmad death. I watched Muallaf the other and absolutely bawled. I saw Aizat’s performance just now and cried. Cengeng betul. Dah la kenal pun tak. But *sigh* I still feel the loss. If a random person on the street can still miss her presence, I dare not even imagine the pain its causing to her nearest and dearest. RIP Yasmin.

So yeah, I really seriously need to rebond my hair. Or else, one day, I’ll find myself in a tangled, dark mass that is my Kerinting Monster.

Happy 2010 everyone. I love you all very strong.

Amarah, yo!

2009-12-21T20:21:00.002+08:00

I think I need to sit in a class (or two) for Anger Management.

I was with Sekky and her Toyboy at KLCC for dinner when we had this brilliant idea to watch a movie. Always a sucker for anything silly and banal, I suggested we watch MySpy. The two of them agreed and we proceed with the dreadful task of lining up for the tickets. TGV had created a snake-like line so that we would need to zig-zag through the maize instead of queuing up on a straight line. So there we were, the three Sekmoks slowly trudging along behind this other girl for the queue. Out of nowhere, some idiot in skinny jeans and skinnier boyfriend sped past us via going under the lines, giggled and proceed to ceremoniously cut our queue.

The girl in front of me was stunned and did not do anything more than just staring agape at the couple.

I know I am no where important so the world doesn’t know this but...

I FUCKING HATE QUEUE JUMPERS, DAMMIT.

I first thought, OK, it’s not a long queue anyway and we’re in good time – the movie wasn’t starting anytime soon.

Still. Queue jumpers. GAHHHHH.

*Sees red*

I complained (loudly, of course) to the very sweet girl in front, about how RUDE SOME PEOPLE ARE and WHY IS IT THAT ONLY STUPID PEOPLE CUT QUEUES and SERIOUSLY, THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ONLY RUDE, BUT NEED A SLAP FOR BEING RUDE. Etc etc. You knowlah, the usual vent.

Then, the skinny girl had the cheek to give me the bleddy finger.

Wah liao wey. INI SUDAH LEBEYYYYY.

My darah, terus go upstairs uols. In my defense, I started counting, in the (vain) hope that my anger will suddenly dissipate somewhat.

Takde maknanya!!

Seeing that counting is a futile attempt, I succumbed to my Inner Wrath (gituuu) and tap, no, slap on the girl, no skank’s dainty shoulder.

“EXCUSE ME,” I bellowed.

EXCUSE ME. YOU DON’T GIVE YOUR BLOODY MIDDLE FINGER TO ME OK? YOU BLOODY WELL CUT THE QUEUE AND YOU DON’T GIVE YOUR BLOODY FINGER TO ME. KURANG AJAR KAN KAU NI.

She said along the lines of us being slow so she has the right to cut the queue.

SLOW OR NOT, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CUT THE BLOODY QUEUE.

And then, the twit called me STUPID.

STUPID, dia kata aku nyah???

(OK lah, I failed my SPM Chemistry but calling stupid to my face? Carik pasal kan).

Mak pun apa lagi. Mak summon segala dewa-dewana semangat Tanggathirai mak, bukak langkah and went closer to her that I crammed her personal space and shouted. To. Her. Face. (sambil wave-wave my finger OK, nigga plis hehe).

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? YOU DARE CALL ME STUPID? SIAPA YANG BODOH? AKU PERGI SEKOLAH TAHU TAK CUT QUEUE TAU? KAU YANG BODOH TAU.

I was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to yanking her hair and bergulung with her on the floor, but sadly, my rant was rudely interrupted by her boyfriend, who, by now, looked, suitably apprehensive. He shoved the skank’s face away while hurriedly saying “Dah, dah, cukup lah tu.” Or something.

So I had no choice but to keep my weapon of choice (Smackdown city satu kali sampai dia lembik). Bleh.

TAPI ADA DIA GETI NAK APOLOGISE OR AT LEAST BERATUR BELAKANG AKU?

Nan ado uols. Dah bodoh tu bodoh lah.

So am I going to let this go as easy?

Hello. Saya Leen Ashburn. Bapak saya Otai dulu kat JB. Of course not, sundelz.

PEOPLE LIKE THIS AH, I told the sweet girl in front of me.

PEOPLE LIKE THIS WONT GO FAR LAH. YOU KNOW WHERE THEY’LL END UP? SETAKAT JADIK SALES GIRL COUNTER TAK PUN JAGA TOILET AJE!

Puas hati?

Tak lah actually. Still hati panas ni.

Hati tengah panas lagi ni. If you caught me then, you probably saw a wild-eyed, wilder-haired mid-30s aunty looking as if she’s about to go on a combustion.

Tengah tahan-tahan marah ni. Ada lagi benda jahanam to spoil the moment.

No, it wasn’t the skank suddenly coming after me to give me a slap. I would’ve welcomed that so that I could introduce my fist to her ugly mug. And no, it wasn’t the boyfriend tripping me so that I made a right fool of myself (as if I hadn’t already). And no, it wasn’t me tripping over my own feet that I cracked the tiles with my prat-fall.

It was something much, much more tragic than that.

Someone farted.

The silent killer type that almost killed me.

Kurang ajar sangat kan? Tengah2 hati panas ni dia kentut. Busuk nak mampus sial. Cam cibai. kan? Kalau aku tau siapa kentut hari tu, memang sah dia pulak kena belasah okay.

Memang damn suwey man malam tu.

p/s: Damn, has it been five years already? December 15^th marked my fifth year at Blogspot. I first started at Xanga on 11^th July 2002. Damn, that’s one hell of a looong time.

pp/s: Hari ni takde gambar sebab tak idea. Lagipun it's already 8.30, mak nak balik uols.

ppp/s: Bad, I am proud to tell you that walaupun I marah gila, suara I tak kecik sampai only dogs can hear. I was quite sure the entire floor could hear my voice itu hari. Hiks. (Bad complains that when I get angry, my voice gets smaller and smaller. :-P)

Serendipity.

2009-12-02T19:55:00.001+08:00

City Beach

Sekmoks and I were in Perth, for our “cheapest orang putih” holiday. We didn’t do anything much. The most strenuous of our holiday er, expedition was to go to a short drive to the park and walked a bit. All of 10 minutes maybe? Keh keh.

But I did tell her that I intended to visit a friend who runs this Makan-Makan Cafe at Albert Park. It’s far, we were told, from where we were staying. But anything that takes longer than 20 minutes is far, by Perth standards. I didn’t mind the drive – the roads are clear and the drivers were all awesome. So we went one late evening (after our King’s Park or was it our beach-hopping day? Can’t remember now lah). Oh I remember now, we first went to that super excellent beef pie place to purchase TONS of beef pies, then er, shopped for groceries. Matilah pergi mana-mana pun, mentah kedarah tak dilupa!

Makan-Makan Cafe is apparently famous for its teh tarik. Big huge ass glass – it was heavenly to sip (or gulp) from the warm mug as you plonk yourself on their comfy, lumpy sofa. We were too lazy to cook, so we each ordered food as well – I think Mee Goreng for Sekky and Nasi Biryani for me. The Biryani was alright lah (I think my benchmark is too high...my mom’s hehe) but the mee goreng was superb.

I was quite bummed initially because my friend wasn’t there. We were told that Wednesday was his off day and he would only be in the day after. Sigh. All that rushing for nothing, I thought. You see, I brought Upin & Ipin’s Geng the Movie as a gift for his kids. I left it at home and actually made a U-turn to get it back. Sekky was saying that I should not have bothered anyway because he wasn’t there.

So we thought, oh well, at least the mee goreng and teh tarik was good. We sat to enjoy our dinner. Then, from the corner of my eye, I saw someone who looked very, very familiar. It was Marni, whom I met many years ago from Galaxynet. Then, the company I was at blocked MIRC but I could somehow logged on to Galaxynet using some web-based chat tool. I can’t recall what channel I was in but I remember being the only Malaysian in a Singaporean channel. Later, I dragged Jeeks in and later still, I managed to get Shuvit to get reacquainted with his mates from that channel (Apparently, he used to lepak at that channel many, many years ago). So we became firm friends, these people I know from the Net.

Sometimes, Ju, Maizie, Meraj, Marni, arwah Ayu would come up to KL and we would bring them around. Oh, Rudy came up to KL too and we met once or twice. I would chat to Deb and smellykat and arwah Dr. Love and had tons of fun. At that point, I felt rather miserable at work so these people were my saviours. Gradually, however, I began to get on to other things, blogs, work, yahoo messenger that I somehow forgotten about Galaxynet. I dropped off their radar for awhile and somehow never managed to see them whenever they were in town.

So there she was, Marni, whom I met only once before. I’ve always enjoyed her wit and banter with the rest. I’ve always had appreciate a witty person. I told Sekmoks, I was a bit er, apprehensive to re-introduce Marni but then what did I have to lose eh?

So before we left for our apartment, I went to Marni (Gelabahnya macam nak approach a hansuari mat susly la pulak noks, over taw) and asked her if she is who I thought she was.

And she IS! She was right shocked that I could still remember her but well...

Elephants Never Forget. Hiks. (Matilah dan-dan baru nak ngaku elephant).

So we chatted and she told us that we absolutely HAVE to see each other before we go off the next Sunday. So we exchanged numbers and promised to meet before we leave. Marni also said that Ju was also flying in that weekend. I was getting excited – it was going to be a little reunion, yo!

Come next Saturday, the day before we left for lovely, lovely Perth, we had a scrumptious seafood dinner at Fremantle with Marni and Faz, Ju and...Deb & Smellikat! I was sooo elated to be able to meet Deb (and Smellies) IRL after all this years! Deb and I used to chat a lot and I’ve always liked chatting with her. I’m glad to report that Deb is just as nice, if not more so, offline. Deb met Smellies online and now they’re married with a superawesome kid Adam. Smellies left Singapore and now reside in Perth with Deb. Sigh, true love, aye?

Serendipity – the Upin & Ipin VCD wasn’t in vain after all. I didn’t get to see one friend that night, but reconnected with few others that week. And thanks to FB, we’re now constantly in touch with each other. And this end December, I will make the time to meet Ju, Marni and Faz when they come up to KL for a short holiday.

Cool eh?

It’s Unthinkable, I Know, But...

2009-11-26T11:49:00.002+08:00

I have (finally) joined the gym. Many speculated that it was due to the Biggest Loser Asia show.

Well. Yes and No.

Early this year, as a resolution of sort (I dread to call it resolution because I don’t think it is? To me, it’s just a list of things I want/need to do this year), I thought that I want to er, live/be healthier.

Well, it damn well took me almost a year to finally kick start it eh? Hiks.

I am not short of role models. I think it started few years ago where PureNur, Navsborg, Ning-ning dan lain2 started this Running Club. Then my two former colleagues started this walk-at-the-Park thing every weekend which they always, ALWAYS do not fail to invite me to join. Then there are a couple of people at the office who started going to gym. And few others who have each did something to leave a healthier life AND trying to rope me into their new routine.

I have always been one to vehemently resist their invitations. Ya lah kan. Aku park kereta kat shopping mall pun kalau boleh depan entrance (I still do that hiks). I don’t even shop! It’s just too much hassle and too tiring. Early this year, I was in Bangkok with Snots and Pure Nur and because there was a lot of walking, I was cranky most of the time because my feet were hurting like a bitch.

To be honest, I freaked out because my health was going to the dogs. Everything that wasn’t supposed to go up; escalated to unknown heights. Everything that was supposed to decrease; stayed stagnant. I was tired a lot of the time and I can’t even walk for five minutes without stopping for a breath. (I nearly typed “for a breast.” Hiks).

So what’s a (fat with zero fitness) girl to do?

She went to Biggest Loser Asia Audition lah! Hehe.

Well so I went and came back and did not get chosen (as you know by now – because if I did, this blog would’ve been empty for at least 6 months. Then again, that’s not so different from current state eh?) But I met many, many people who act, react and THINK like me, it’s scary. No wonder lah weols sekmoks uols.

So to cut the long, boring, story short, I finally signed up with a gym. It’s just behind my office and even with heavy traffic; I’d be able to reach the gym in 5 minutes. I had even engaged with a personal trainer because I don’t trust myself going to the gym without him. I have only started 4 sessions with him, I don’t feel lighter nor do I feel firmer and more toned-up. I definitely do not think I’ve lost any weight. I still pant when climbing stairs. I haven’t dropped even half a dress size.

But you know? I’m heading there. I damn well hope so because it’s so bloody difficult to even get to this stage. Wismilak!

I hate Jargon-Speak.

2009-11-13T11:18:00.004+08:00

Call a spade, a spade lah!

Why can't we just call a Spade, a spade? Why must we create confusion and bleedin' call it an extraction tool to expel dirt, earth and other output from the grounds in view of loosening and/or removing of said earth for the purpose of recreation (sandcastles or sand-boobs), gardening and such.

I just hate jargon-speak. I had some characters in previous employment who peppers her conversations with crap-speak like, "I feel challenged to complete the task as my plate is full. So I think we need to scope down my task, at this juncture, to achieve win-win situation for both parties."

WTF? What's wrong with just saying "Can you help me ah?"

Tips for the Living Part Entah ke Berapa entah.

2009-11-11T21:05:00.002+08:00

For proper ventilation of your body, it is pertinent that you buy good underwear. And by good, I mean, the right size. Please do not delude yourself into thinking you're a size 6 when you're 12. Or 16. Jikalau tidak, you will look as if you have 4 pieces of butt-cheeks.

To illustrate:

Sekian, terima kasih.

Yang Selalu Sering Berkhidmat,

Leen AshBurn.

Maaf Tuan Hari Ini Hari Bodoh Saya Part Entah Berapa tah.

2009-10-15T12:37:00.001+08:00

Hari tu I had dinner with Hassan Pulau Ketam. We went to Port Klang and had dinner by the seaside. Romantic? OK lah. With Hassan, I always knew our date, if you can call it that, would be great. We have great conversations and he’s about at par with me with the prat-falls/hari bodoh occurrence. My only grouse is that with the paltry candle as our table centre piece, I couldn’t see much of my food. I mean, what if I tergigit the unblended bawangs? There were aplenty!

*Geli-geleman*

And then kan, because it was so dark, I couldn’t see where my food went. Tiba-tiba hilang, like that (Padahal masuk perut).

We met because Hassan Pulau Ketam was to jet-set to an exotic place this weekend and I wanted to introduce him to Joyah Seks before he leaves.

Joyah Seks is Joget’s successor. Joget and I have had some fun but it’s time to let her go. Tak pergi jauh pun, it’ll be with my sister je. Also, Joyah Seks is sooo sexy I couldn’t resist her. Jamban power, uols! Hiks. By the by, Joyah Seks is named so because it’s a combination of my plate number and car.

So anyway, here we were checking out the various functions and knobs in the car and testing this and checking out that. This means, he, the car aficionado he is, was checking the car out whereas I interspersed between listening to music and zoning out. Hang on, that could very well be one and the same activity kan? Anyway, after a few minutes of twisting and pressing and flicking, we had a little disagreement. I told him that my car boot can be opened via the “handle in the middle kat belakang tu”. He said there is no such handle.

Eh? Takkan takde. This is my car, I tahu lah.

Kekwat tak kekwat, noks?

You come here and check yourself lah.

*Waddle* *waddle* *raba-raba bumper*

Hmm...Adalaaaah. Ni kan gelap, mesti lah tak nampak.

Matilah tak mau kalah ini.

We went back in to check the manual. Or rather, Hassan Pulau Ketam went back in to frantically flick the pages to check the manual. As for me? I was happily singing Kantoi - I don’t know why but dammit that song is bloody addictive, man. I think I love it because it’s one of the few songs I am able to memorise(ish) in few days (I usually take ages, if ever). If you haven’t heard of Kantoi - WHY? Tapi go lah to yewtoob and search for that. There’ll be millions of entries but just listen to the ones by Zee Avi. Excellent shit, hers.

Anyway, Hassan Pulau Ketam was furiously flipping the pages of the manual, found what he was looking for and leaped out of Joyah Seks, to do more investigation on the alleged handle at the bumper.

I was getting impatient, I mean, after all, it is MY CAR kan? Takkan I don’t know where the handle is. I SWEAR it was there, kan I dok angkut my bags semua bila nak travel hari tu kat Perth.

Ehwaiddaminute. Perth?

ALAMAK!!! HASSSANNN PULAU KETAAAAMMMM!!

Apa dia?

Er yang I kata handle tu bukan this car. It’s the car I rented masa kat Perth hari tu. Hehe (ketawa malu).

I TOLD YOU KAN BUMPER TU TAKDE HANDLE?

Maaflah Tuan Hassan, hari itu hari Bodoh saya.

Oh Shit. I Used to Blog, ek?

2009-09-29T12:37:00.005+08:00

Hello kawan-kawan.

How did your Raya festivities/long weekend go? Did any of you take more than 4 days to arrive at your respective kampungs? Heh heh. My friend drove for 8 hours what is usually 3 hours ride. Madness.

I didn't have to go anywhere but the two siblings and the husband and a kitten drove up to KL. Whee. Jose was, surprisingly warm towards Sharifah Mimi (the kitten's actual name is Shawty, but my dad things she is very pretty "Macam orang Arab" so we, ok I, am calling her Sharifah Mimi hehe).

I actually have no mood/time to update this blog but Lisa wanted to see the roasted cikin that I did, many moons back. SO, lihatlah dunia!

Chicken, before masuk oven.

Chicken, selepas di masak.

Chicken is marinated with er. Damn aku tak ingat. Nanti I check my recipe scrapbook but I key ingredients is yoghurt. Then ada herbs, pepper, Worchester sauce, garlic. Itu lah aje kot. Hiks.

Entry ini juga ditujukan kepada Snots dengan ucapan: Aku pun boleh masak sedap dan aku pun dah pandai letak2 gambar makan kat blog. Hiks. Terima kasih.

The Five Series Part Three – Five Ramadhan Essentials.

2009-08-23T22:01:00.000+08:00

Er, no, this would not be a tazkirah post where I will be sprouting the virtues of Ramadhan and Terawihs and controlling one’s anger etc. There are enough blogs that will tell you otherwise and we all know how I’m not the best person to tell you all that anyway hiks.

My Five Ramadhan Essentials – that is, if I can keep it at five are all about...you guessed it mistaaa, food. Teehee. I just realised that these are the five items that I must absolutely have or else I’d just dieeeee during Ramadhan:

1. Roti John

I just realised that I only ever eat Roti John during the fasting month. I don’t know what’s behind this quirk of mine but there you go. Unfortunately, of late, the Roti John sold in various Pasar Ramadhan are, to put it eloquently, macam haram jadah. More eggs than meat and the onions? Makkkkk aiiii, ni Roti John ke Roti John yang Suka Makan Bawang Enam Puluh Kati sekali Ngap?? When I googled about Roti John, I was surprised to learn that the Roti John originated from Singapore, from this stall owned by one Shukor. Apparently, a Mat Salleh had been frequenting his stall and asked for onion omelette and French loafs. One day, Shukor decided to mix ‘em together and Roti John was born. John, apparently, is a slang for foreigners/Mat Sallehs.

Anyway, for the past few years, I had been making my own Roti John. A quick Google around and you’ll find various recipe to making them so I don’t really need to tell you lah. I tweaked my Roti John (Tetiba teringat lagu: Johnnn Johnyyyy Johnathannnn param pam pam pam pam pam! HAHAHA) by: blending the onions (heh heh). So basically you just cut the baguette/roti bun/French loaf into half, then mix the eggs, onions, meats etc.; slab the baguette/roti bun/French loaf with the eggs/meat/onion/etc mix then toss it over on a buttered pan. 2 minute can siap one.

I think Lisa has a better recipe if you care to dig her delectable blog. Fiebe also had blogged about how to make this Roti John, tapi kena dig lah because these are old blog entries.

2. Ayam Percik

This is also one of those things I happen to eat only during fasting month. It’s like, hari-hari lain tak rasa stim kodok also nak eat Ayam Percik. However, I was so bummed last year when I bought an Ayam Percik from Kampung Bahru because, to put it eloquently, it was very the haram jadah also. I mean, Ayam Percik *is* from East Coast and all that, tetapi perlukah ia manih leting macam telan gula satu guni? Dahla sugar is scarce now.

So this year, I thought I should just go the Roti John way and make my own Ayam Percik if it’s going to kill me. I have already went over to Lisa’s blog (this is normal actually, I stalk her blog numerous times a day even teehee) because she had a pretty simple to follow Ayam Percik recipe. Because I am from JB, hence, near Singapore, land of all things Kiasu (sekky, please don’t kill me OK?); I have also asked Miss Chef Extraordinaire, Naddy, to give me her recipe as well. So far, both recipes are easy to follow and do not differ much. Unfortunately, my parents do not fancy Ayam Percik so I have to slot this when the sisters come up to KL next week so ada gang nak makan. Whee.

3. Air Kathira

Oh Air Kathira. I blogged about it numerous times, I think. Anyway, it is very difficult to find air Kathira here in KL so we have resorted to making them ourselves. It’s nicer too and we naturally, do not cop out on the bahan-bahan. My mom is very vague whenever I asked her of the recipe – she will only say that it requires an important ingredient: ketiak arab. Yeah, she’s a funny one, that one. But generally, it involves: ice cream soda, susu cair, air mawar, kembang semangkuk, kathira, biji selasih and prunes you potong halus-halus. It’s so cooling and sooo delicious. Lucky for me, we’re having this tomorrow YAY.

4. Kuihs

I’m not much of a kuih person – I usually only eat them during the various meetings I have to attend at some Ministry in Putrajaya (By the way, I just realised, after Lily Liverbird pointed out; that the kuihs are always 2 keping and one would be sweet while the other would be savoury. Standard template would be: Karipap and Seri Muka. Hehe). I am not the petang-petang must eat kuih type of person. I won’t know my tepung pelita to my puteri (or is it badak?) berendam. And my foray into making my own kuih – the easiest of the lot; onde-onde, ended up a disaster. The stupid blobs refused to er, round nicely and I ended up having green messy bits in the pan.

During Ramadhan, however, I’ve got to have my kuihs. Unfortunately, we all know some kuihs sold in Pasar Ramadhan are pretty to look at but taste...altogether now, like haram jadah. WHY? Nak buat duit pun jangan lah tipu orang like this kan? My friend Azrina has recommended me to buy kuihs from this stall way back then; and I have been going to this place for years even after I uprooted from Ampang to Boondocks. I have also mentioned this in my previous posts many, many times. They’re pricey but the best it is, at least, for me and my family. It’s towards ISKL/SPCA in Ampang, at the corner tu. Be prepared to be disappointed if you come as late as 3.30 – all the good ones are gone by then because people by them by the loyangs.

My choice kuihs are always the same: Pulut panggang, karipap (the epok-epok kentang types without the bawangs of course), kuih lopis (oh sedapnya), bingka jagung, bingka pisang, seri muka. I also like the putu buluh/piring and apam balik but these, the Ampang gerai tak jual, most unfortunately. It’s only the 2^nd day of Ramadhan but I had most of my kuih quota already: pulut panggang and bingka jagung. Hmmm, I think I should go down in a bit to squander yet another pulut panggang. Or the lopis if my mom hadn't finish them lah.

5. Kopi 434

Actually, we always have 434 Coffee supply at home. Dulu-dulu, Snots used to be our supplier, but now that my dad wants to get reacquainted with his Muar relatives, we have been going down and buying them ourselves. Those who are not in the know, kopi 434 is the best kopi in the world ever. Yes, better than Kapal Api, Aik Cheong, kopi Kemaman etc. Wah they now have their own website, cha'll. Kopi 434 has a shop right smack in Muar town, near the market. It’s at this row of derelict shophouses kat situ. But they’ve spruced them up some and now have a little cafe at the side where you can order your coffee, even ice blended and enjoy it with their seriously sedap roti bakar and kaya. They even deliver nowadays! I’m so impressed!

Anyway, yes, this is a must in our family for yeaaaaaaaaaaars back. We break our fast with dates (my mom and I) and coffee. Panas-panas menggelegak tu we drink it down. So satisfying. It’s so satisfying...I feel like going down now and have a huge big gulp of kopi 434. Nyam.

So see you around bebehs. Have a blessed and fruitful Ramadhan.

The Five Series Part Two

2009-08-10T20:16:00.000+08:00

I have a Claim to Fame – I slept with Lily the Liverbird once. Not on the same bed, or in any manner sexual, but still. However, it just crossed my mind that I have never failed to malu-fy myself whenever I met up with her. Gelabah kot, depan celebrity blogger hiks. So these are the five (of many):

1. Before I knew her IRL, I was told by someone *jeling Snots* that Lily the Liverbird is that chick who used to be one of the footie programme commentator in TV3. That mamak girl? Whom I thought then didn’t really add value to the programme except that she’s nice to look at? Yeah that’s the one. When Snots told me who Lily the Liverbird was, I was perplexed because I thought Lily the Liverbird the blogger seemed to know more about football than that TV3 chick.

So what gives?

So the first time we met was at a very romantic setting of...a karaoke room. She hadn’t confirmed her attendance as she had to run some errands so we were not expecting her. At least, I wasn’t. After awhile though, someone told us that she was done with whatever it was she had to do and was on her way.

So we were at that Bangsar BSC KTV (RIP KTV, you’ve been missed) and I was about to go out to get some more food from the buffet line or something and here I saw a very petite, fair and chumils ya ammat girl walking towards our room. I must’ve looked at her funny – she said I looked kekwat masa tu uols hiks. I think it was more of a “Eh, what’s this girl doing nak sebok-sebok masuk bilik karaoke kita orang ni?

Padahal si Snots dah salah khabarkan *piat telinga Snots*

2. I asked her who Robbie Fowler is on our way to Singapore. Actually, I *have* heard of Robbie Fowler tapi masa tu macam tak register sebab she said Robbie Fowler is like one of the footie veterans. I thought veterans as in time Mokhtar Dahari ke. If time2 Cantona, Giggs masa muda rumaja, Lineker or Jamie Redknapp then I know laaa.

3. I confident sangat that I would have no problems whatsoever, no-uh, that I would be able to find the hotel which we were supposed to stay at in Singers. After all, I have mobile Google Map maaaah. Sure can find one. My ass. We were going around in circles at the very eerie, quiet and dark Singapore Biotech Park at 4ish in the morning and she finally decided to call the hotel and had the nice boy at the counter guide us right till we reached the entrance of the hotel teehee.

4. I drove her car to Singers to meet RF. And then kan, I ni jakun – I’ve never used a Smart Tag before tau. Jakun kan? Ya saya pun mengaku saya agak jakun. So I terforgot, actually, I didn’t forget, I just didn’t *know* that you’re supposed to wave the card a bit before a certain spot so that the bar can only open then right?

So yeah they did not teach that in Law School you see. So we had to wait for the toll gate girl to manually open the bar for us. Good thing it was midnight with absolutely no cars about.

5. I was driving us to have some daging dendeng and sambal ijo. Looking at the Touch and Go sign on the road, I blindly followed the signs and flashed my card at the Touch n Go thingamajig. The bar wouldn’t budge. I flashed again, more impatiently this time. Pun tak jadik apa.

And thennnn, Lils said, “Er, this is a Smart Tag lane.”

YA RABBI. The Touch N Go sign on the lane tu was so misleading uols. Malu kan kaum only. Nasib baik there was no traffic that night, so I could quickly reverse towards the right lane. Tsk.

25 Tags - Does anyone remember this at all even? Hehe

2009-08-05T19:48:00.002+08:00

A long, long time ago, I was tagged by Moonks and Aels in FB. I immediately got to it, because I’m a sucker for all things inane and banal, but stopped at sadly, no. 10. This has always been a problem for me. It’s not like I don’t like to talk about myself – I have enough people in my phone list that can tell you that I really should shut my gob because I talk to much (about me, me, me). I guess the problem is that I don’t know where to start. And worse, I don’t know when to stop.

So anyway, there’s a lull at the office so I thought I’d try to finish what I’ve started halfway. This was actually the, er, trending topic, as it were, of FB way back then.

1. It’s hard to believe this. But I have some aversion for certain foods. Or rather, certain ingredients of food. I know by now everyone would’ve known about my aversion and absolute hatred for unblended onions. I don’t understand why Mother still put CHUNKS of the hated things into her sambal tumis (and other things). I also do not do jering, limp veggies, petai...oh god I don’t understand why this tempat makan near the office puts petai in the otherwise yummy nasi kerabu. WHY?

2. What made me absolutely abhor onions is because I hate the feeling of biting into a licin onion. YECK.

3. Doctor has certified that I have sleep apnea. This really means I have an excuse to sleep at a drop of the hat. However, it’s not. An excuse I mean. I really CAN sleep almost anywhere. I nearly just did just now, but was woken up by a phone call (saved by the bell, literally). Actually, in the course of having to finish this entry pun I nearly well dozed off a couple of times. I even bore myself to sleep hehehe.

4. I hate, hate, HATE queue jumpers. I mean, I hate a lot of other things too, but queue jumpers get on my tits most. I have shouted /jostled/shoved away/angrily tap their shoulders/loudly admonished queue jumpers. Kau ingat kau ada laki besar fridge 3 pintu, tangan berurat and dada berbulu tapi pegang handbag kecik kaler pink kau tu, jadik aku takut? Ini cucu cicit Daeng Perani tau. Ewahhh.

5. Actually, I am not even sure if I am a cucu-cicit Daeng Perani hiks. Someone said we were. And that I was visited by him when I was in coma. This Uncle (who knows a bit about the other realm, said DP then asked him “siapa buat cucu aku ni” or summat). *shrugs*

6. Ooooh, you know what I hate more? Some random aunties (they’re always some aunties, neverlaa some Hunky Manly Man ke apa.) stopping me in a public place and asked if I have thought of dieting before because if I did, then they have this miracle product which would GUARANTEE weight loss. I usually put on a deadpan face and ask them if they think I’m fat ke? Or just snarl at them and ask them to bugger off already (with a very, very menacing voice).

7. I am not biased. I hate everyone equally.

8. I think the Plague and some other people I know has this too: I buy books but I can’t finish them fast enough. In my defence, it’s not that I won’t read them, but I buy them faster than I can read them. I think I still have some books I bought in a warehouse sale 3-4 years back that I have yet to read. Recently, I bought two books in MPH; and have another 4 on its way from Kinibooks. I have 3 books I bought last month. My bedside table books-to-read-immediately stack is about to topple over. I think I have close to 40 plus (if not more) books that I haven’t read.

9. I used to be addicted to Coke. Actually my friends, especially those who knew me from way back even then would be able to vouch for this. I can wake up and head straight to the fridge and gulp the whole bottle of Coke. Yes, yes, I know the 330ml tin alone has 7 tablespoons of sugar. And yes I know, in some industries, Coke is used to clean the toilets/floor/some factory equipments. But ada aku kisah?

10. But now that I am older and somewhat wiser (though this point is moot teehee), I have stopped my daily Coke fix.

11. ...and switched to Diet Coke pulak tehee. BABY STEPS PEOPLE! But I’ve also started to drink plain water (averaging about 2 litres daily) which I HATED dulu – so all’s good I think?

12. I wish I have a “type” of men that I like; but I’m easy (badabing!), I take them all. However, I think men with wit and personality rocks my socks. And men with gravelly, manly voice. Mmmm.

13. Which explains why I liked the character Chandler in Friends (though his voice is not manly but we can’t ask for everything now, can we?) and David Walliams of Little Britain. Especially when David puts on the manly voice oooh yums. Ooooh I also love Professor Snape. That voice, that broody looks. *rowrrr*.

14. My doctor told me that I probably lived up to 45 only. That’s about ten years away, yo.

15. Which jarred me a bit, to be honest. But then, back in 2000, the doctor in ICU told my parents I had only 8% of survival on account of 3 major organs failing (one lung, brain and er liver? Or summat. Tak ingat now) but here I am, typing this tag thing.

16. Having said that, I do wish I will outlive my parents. I don’t think I can bear with the thought of them having to take care of my funeral.

17. I did not cry when I heard of MJ’s death. Neither did I when I heard Lady Diana passing on. I bawled when I heard the news that Yasmin Ahmad’s passing. I still cannot believe that she is gone. I would have loved to do a claim to fame, but sadly there’s none.

18. Except that one time when someone arranged to have her watch Gubra at a special charity screening with us and my then ex took a photo of us together. Hardly a claim to fame, I know.

19. I used to think that I cannot live more than 30 minutes car drive away from my workplace because the traffic would just kill my mood. So I usually relocate to where my office is. Which explains why I now stay at the Boondock-est of Boondocks. I now realise if the office environment is cool and you have great people to work with, it doesn’t matter if you have to brave through the jam more than an hour daily.

20. I am sometimes very scared that one day people would call my bluff and find out that I am not clever at all. I mean, I *know* people know that I’m not, but they tolerated me thus far, but I am scared that one day I run out of bullcrap to bull these people and I’d kena kaw-kaw. So let us wish that I’ll never run out of juice to BS eh? Hiks.

21. I do not cry in front of my parents.

22. But I cry easily especially if it’s cerita-cerita sedih berkenaan dengan binatang. Or some soppy advertisements. Or some soppy animal related programme.

23. Which is why I cried almost throughout “10 Promises I made to my dog.” A MUST WATCH PEOPLE!

Er, I have run out of things to say about myself.

24. I don’t know how to cycle a bicycle. They say if you knew how to ride a bike, chances are you’d be able to get “it” back once you get back on the bike. I think I’m too fat for that now. Even when my butt could fit into the saddle pun, I was never good at it. Once, I crashed into my aunt’s garbage bin because I didn’t know how to brake properly. Then, there’s that time when I was chased by a friend’s dog and I crashed into a tembok because I did not know how to brake properly. Yet another, I nearly went into the sea if not for a coconut tree to break the ride because I did not know how to brake. I only managed to swerve quickly to the left, towards the open sea. This was at Sentosa Island way back in 1987. I could still remember Kerry’s shrieking to me “OI! BRAKE LAH STUPID BRAKE LAH STUPID! THE LORRY WILL LANGGAR YOU!” then later “OY! BRAKE LAH STUPID! YOU’LL GO INTO THE SEA!”

Never again.

25. I sometime have this habit to leave out the last tiny bit unfinished because I just lost the will or steam to complete it. There’s always a small bit left dangling somewhere. I may or may not get back to it later to finish it lah. Like maybe, two gulps of water (so like I said just now, I drink 2l of water everyday, it could very well be just 1980ml instead); some of the books I read would have maybe the last few pages or last chapter still yet to be read by me. An assignment would be done early but the conclusion or the gelling of the piece would be left until the last minute. Sometimes not at all which would make it dangling.

Pretty much like this entry lah. Hehe.

Memacam

2009-07-22T03:34:00.001+08:00

I think I am doing so much writing for work nowadays (which is good, I suppose) I forgot that I need to update my blog. Actually I didn’t forget. I just forget what to update in my blog. Also, I think I am gonna stick to my 5 series until I have an incident yang I can remember then I can torment The Flack with my usual epic-length blog entries (I haven’t done that for ages kan).

A wee update of my non-lively life: Vocal classes ended dah (er last month and half I think hehe). It went jolly well – we had a grand total of *counts* SIX (HA!) audience, eh, eight if you count Ms. Faridah and my vocal teacher of course. Out of the six, one was my friend who was kind enough to come and see me sing; 4 was a combi of dad/mum/brother/boyfriend of this sister-brother students and one random dude who came out of nowhere and decided to listen to us. He was pretty much stoic throughout, so I was not sure if he was actually enjoying it or if he was slowly dying a slow, traumatic death inside teehee.

Onto more fun matters – our company is now in the midst of something very, very important that could very well tipple the morale of the employees; the Sports Carnival. Not just *any* Sports Tournament of course. We muscle flexers and macho people indulge in the best kind there is – Indoor Sports Tournament, don’t play-play. I think we’ve pretty much almost done with pool (which is surprise, because the last time, the Men’s pool took us about 1 year to finish).

We are now hot in trail with an even more exciting, adrenaline-pumping, brow-sweating game...SCRABBLES! Oy oy oy, don’t lah laugh. This is serious matter OK. The onus of burden to win, or at least, tak pancit on the first round, is on me, only because I represent the company for MOSTI games last year. Unfair, if you ask me, I only won against the guy because he kept making all these funny words that did not exist and I just happen to know enough to challenge his words. So macam pressure to keep up gitu. Over kan? Hehe.

Next: Congkak, Darts and Carrom. So exciting huh?

Teehee.

(And no, I do not work with nerds yang pakai minyak tanchor 3 kilo, sikat tepi belah kanan, pakai tie besar dada kilat-kilat. We’re quite normal, ta :-P).

Oh this reminds me – I have been with this company for a year (and few weeks) already! I must say, I’m still enjoying the ride. I love the job, I love the people, sigh. Life can’t get any better. OK, so it can if they could get me a nicer looking toilets, but then, beggars can’t be choosers kan? Heh.

Apa lagi ya?

Oooh, Sekmoks and I have been planning, preparing, arranging for our inaugural Oktoberfest. Mohon Berjaya hendaknya!

And I had the pleasure to meet the four most interesting characters from Aceh recently. They were all part of my friend, the Social Entrepreneur’s project, who wanted to give something back to Aceh. NGOs in Aceh would be leaving the lands soon, I believe. So what this Social Entrepreneur wants to do is to train some of them with a skill in the hope that they would 1) be an entrepreneur themselves and 2) teach the others about these skills so that eventually, the people of Aceh will be able to be independent and skilful enough to build their economy after the devastating effects of Tsunami. So anyway, SE asked if anyone wanted to buy her and the kids lunch or dinner so I agreed. Nothing fancy lah, just at my friend’s Em’s place in Bangsar (where there used to be a Jolly Green Giant tu) for her super awesome char kuay teow.

And how glad I was to have met acquaintance with them! They are such a charming lot. One told me that I reminded him of his English tutor back in Aceh (to which I responded by saying that she must be pretty, hiks. Nasib dia tak balas “over taw kau ni!”). The other one was simply inspiring. She works in Aceh as a pemotong sayur. And she told us about her dreams to open her business and her plans to go about it. They’re an amazing lot. I must confess I tear-ed a bit when they hugged and said our goodbyes. I was glad to have met up with them - makes whatever problems I thought I had seemed so inconsequential.

Which is always a good thing, because I was feeling wee blue the few weeks before, you see. I thought June was a rather, hmm, bleh month. June was a bit of a suwey month for me – a coupla of things that was supposed to happen in June didn’t. There were a few incidents; at least boleh lah but a 5-series list but I forgot what it was about teehee. I really shouldn’t have eaten all those ants masa kecik kan? At least I wont be so forgetful like now.

Seriously, why did I think that June was a bancau month? One was I think I went out on a date with a guy whom I thought fancied me because he was giving me allllll these signals, sekali nan-ado. That’s one. Then hmm. Then oh, I heard things about the Ex which made me rather upset then. Alah boring lah talk about boring stuff.

But anyway, Oh oh oh oh. The First Lady of Rotidua has emailed me nicely and told me that the brother wants to do a make over to ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEE! How grand is that! I contemplated for a bit and agreed on two conditions:

1. I do not want my hair to be er, styled the ayam bulu balik, style no matter what people say about it being trendy ke apa (not that I know if they are but then I’m no stylo)

2. I do not want to be made up in such a way that I no longer looked like me or worse, I look like Mama Roxa.

Hiks.

But I haven’t contacted the brother because...er, I a bit shy lah. I mean, seriously, what if lepas the make over I still look very hamjadah? Malu occay noks, kesian the brother (and the sister also la).

Haiyah like no space to do a 5-series entry kan? Next one lah. It’s already 3am, I should try and sleep soon.

Oh, Joget has been sooo bad lately. She has been cranky off late. The radiator was wonky; wiring is off, speedometer rosak...I just changed the battery, alternator, repaired the radiator...and hari tu, the bleeding metalscrap decided to do his head in and stopped. In the middle of the narrow streets at Kampung Baru! Bloody hell. Apparently, my timing belt putus. I had to call the tow truck (for the second time too this month! That time when my batter/alternator died pun I called for them) and had Joget towed to a workshop in Jalan Kuching.

I must say, despite all the nags I received from the Uncle Workshop, the Uncle’s son, the admin person, the random driver who decided to peek into my car engine and the next door’s exhaust mechanic; I was very pleased with their workmanship. They come in rather cheap too (as compared to other horror stories I head. Someone told me that I got off pretty lucky as compared to some others who charged thousands! So yeah, Joget now has spanking new parts: battery, alternator, radiator (parts), timing belt.

If you rosak lagi, Joget, I swear, I am going to toss you into the Mines’ lombong HMPH.

Oh, oh, oh. Just a quick one before I go. Should you have nothing better to do, actually, even if you have something to do this Saturday, 25^th July 2009; please head your way to Chow, 4^th Floor of Weld. The lovely Feebs and her friends are organising (eh, ye ke organising? Sesuka aku kan? Bantai je lah) this charity do from 10am to 3pm. How it’s going to roll is that you just need to purchase a RM20 ticket which will entitle you to five coupons – entry ticket, 3 food coupons and 1 drinks coupon. You will also get one lucky draw entry per ticket so how cool is that! The best part is that kids come free! (er, unless your kids dah umor 20 tahun tu kira t ak aci la kan.)

Proceed for the sale of these tickets will go to the Palestinian orphans. Should you be interested, please contact the delectable Feebs at her email: fiebierossa at yahoo dot com.

Jangan lupa datang ya?

OK lah nak tidur. G’night y’awl.

P/S: Seriously guys. Ramai nya org yg googled for jembut and came to my blog. I mean, WTH.

The Five Series.

2009-07-02T16:13:00.002+08:00

I have been toying with this idea for a bit. I thought, since I love songs, why don’t I share my current favourite (or, if you’re that girl I eavesdrop at the Pasar Ramadhan Putrajaya er 3-4 years back, “faayff-verit”) songs. Or top 5. Because my faf-verits changes according to various criteria like emotional turmoil Index, Stage of Funds for the Month and Attention Sought and Received Index. Hehe.

On a separate note, I wish the spam I receive in my email everyday (not of the porky kind, but you smart people know that of course. I’m just saying you know?) bring me good tidings. Today alone, I’m supposed to win 750,000 British Sterling. Instant millionaire, yo! I can finally put *one* of my mom’s worries to rest (that I am to die decrepit and alone, without nary a husband and/or a house to call my own).

So, coming back to the matters at hand, my top five for this week will be based on songs by Michael Jackson. Bukan maikel ya. Maikel itu adalah seekor monyet kartun kat Ujang dulu. Hahaha siapa ingat? Why Michal Jackson? Because I am suddenly reminded of my own mortality upon hearing the news of his (and Farah Fawcett’s) passing. I mean, these two were my childhood icons. While I never aspired to have swishy golden locks like Farah, nor did I desired the talent of moonwalking and/or crotch grabbing in public (while wearing seluar senteng); they were one of many iconic personalities during my childhood. Others would include Chips, misai Tom Selleck dalam Magnum PI, Facts of Life...hang on, that could be another 5-list kan?

So without further ado, ecewah, il presente, my top five Michael Jackson (bukan maikel hiks)...for now (knowing me I probably change it in 2 minutes):

Nombor 5: One Day in Your Life

I have no other reason except that I really like the song. It transport me to the days long gone where I would be snoozing on the sofa with my er, botol susu (ya saya masih minum susu masa saya sekolah rendah so there). My Tok Bak would be taking his afternoon nap (hence the snooze because I was not allowed to make any noise. At All. Or Else.) and I would happily gulp (suck? Teehee) away my Sustagen cokelat whilst listening to the radio. This song just reminds me of those days. I still miss my Tok Bak *sniff*.

Nombor 4: Heal the World

Oh no, I didn’t like this song because I wanted to save the world ke apa (that would be another song for another blog entry teehee) but this song reminds me so much of A Levels. We were all taking our mandatory English classes and upon graduation we were broken up into groups. Each group were asked to perform – I was already a Mak Kembang (how apt, eh? Hiks) in the Lela Mayang play, but for some reason we decided we also wanted to have a choir. I can’t remember if it’s us who chose these girls or the lecturers but P was asked to be conductor – because she’s already playing Grade 8 piano by then and Y who volunteered to be our er voice coach.

And we sucked spectacularly. We somehow did not jive, some of us bellowed, some shrieked, some shrilled; we were all singing from different notes; I do believe we all sounded as if we were trying to kill small animals with our voices. Which is weird because we do have some good singers in our group. We had Amy who could out-sung Whitney at any time and Maria; who always gets bullied by me (by locking her in our room; then we’d force her to sing Mariah Carey songs hehe).

So was I surprised that we did not get to perform on our graduation day? No I wasn’t. Besides, I was already performing as Mak Kembang so macam tak kisah sangat hiks, selfish gila aku ini.

Nombor 3: Smooth Criminal

Sadya, whom I had the pleasure to get reacquainted back, thanks to FB, was a HUGE Michael Jackson fan. She could do the moon-walk, the jengket kaki bit, everything. She could even rap yo! So talented. So it was Teachers’ Day and naturally we all had to put up a performance. So we did a skit that involved me playing a Chinaman (which actions and speech I copied from my Cikgu Perdagangan – who wasn’t too pleased of my talent to mimic him teehee) who owned a coffeeshop whose waiter/waitress decided to party and dance to...you got it, Smooth Criminal while I was away.) Cue: Me shouting something about leaving in a hurry and the waiter/waitresses tukar baju ala Michael Jackson (jeans/shirt I suppose – we weren’t flashy enough to afford those curls then heh heh). I do believe it went rather well.

Except that bit when the Cikgu Perdagangan walked, no stomped over to me and told me loudly that “LU AH ADZLEEN, SANGAT JIAHAT HATI!”

Hehe.

Eh chop, is it Man in the Mirror ek? Dammit LUPAAAA. Ham quite sure it’s Smooth Criminal sebab Man in the Mirror is not so danceable kan? I mean not kedai-kopi-after-hours-jadi-bar-and-dance-floor danceable.

Nombor 2: I’ll be There.

OK granted. This is not a Michael Jackson song per se, but rather Jackson 5. But what’s this song without Michael’s distinctive voice kan? Also, granted, I first heard the Mariah Carey’s version first but quickly fell in love with the original version, I mean who wouldn’t? I liked this song because we played this song to death some years back, the band members and I. By then, the once 9-members strong dwindled to maybe few of ours, Aidy on lead, Ian on drums, whoever was available for rhythm or bass and us girls for vocals; I think it was only just Nyz and I by then. We were mucking about in the studio and decided that we should do a er light acoustic version of this song (on account that we didn’t have enough band members available hehe). Aidy strummed and we attempted (rather, OK-ish too! We don’t get to do this OK often teehee) to harmonise. It worked. I was real chuffed. I miss jamming lah.

Nombor 1: We are the World/Beat It

It was a toss between these two. No other reason other than the fact that the songs are never lapuk, one can just click/play/choose the song and it’ll still feel and sound contemporary to me. OK maybe I’m not the best person to talk about music; I mean what do I know? Belajar theory pun up to Grade 3 only hehe. I suppose it would be presumptuous of me to say what I said. But it’s like this lah, I’ll never get bored of those songs – I can listen to them whenever, and I’d still like it, just like when I first heard it many, many moons ago.

Also, I like the ad-libs. The whoops, the shrills, the shrieks. So best.

Other who didn’t make the list but should: Man in the mirror, Thriller, Bad, ABC (Jackson 5), The Way you Make me Feel; Black or White, You Are Not Alone, Say, Say, Say. RIP Michael, you’re missed.

Delayed Transmission, Selective Memory.

2009-06-16T11:34:00.005+08:00

This blog entry comes in three parts that are of no consequence to each other.

Pertamanya, I am, at this moment of time, pissing in my pants. Not literally lah, of course. This unnecessary duress is brought by the fact that my last class for vocals is this Thursday. We were all requested to perform one song for showcase. By showcase, I mean, sing in front of the lovely cikgu and the students; possibly even in front of Faridah M *gasp* and the lovely cikgu’s husband who also sometimes teaches and OMG he is very, very strict. *Hyperventilates*

Way back at our first class (has it been only few months?), we were also asked to sing; I suppose to gauge where we are and all that. I sang Over the Rainbow. During the “test” round few weeks back, for lack of ideas, I re-sang that song again. Two days before the FINAL class, I got hit by a brainwave (doesn’t come very often, this) and thought maybe Over the Rainbow is getting wee bit boring to sing (and for others to hear). I don’t know why is it that my brains thinks about all other unimportant and semi-important things like, uh, how Azrina used to lick Puspa’s glasses for fun (and for that gross factor); why are the highways still congested despite its 4-5 lanes; why are men such assholes sometimes and how come some of the dodgier girls get the best ones??; and how is it some people can eat and eat and only gain weight in their hair? So yeah, it took AGES for this puny brain of mine to come around and panic about this Thursday. Sigh.

So I agonised over it, panicked, agonised about it some more and made the mistake of discussing it with The Flack. I mean, she was just trying to help of course, but she suggested almost a million songs that I get more confused by the minute. I initially thought of doing Don’t Cry for Me Argentina (the Madonna’s version of course, I don’t think I can carry Elaine Paige’s version, mati gue). My reservations for that song is that...it is a long song and with reference to my puny brain above...I might forget the lyrics; which is wont to happen. So we discussed and contemplated various other songs: Home Sweet Home (Motley Crew – but Carrie Underwood version), Bengawan Solo (Tak cukup nafas), Boeroeng Kaka (Did we discuss this? Lupa lak), A Shoulder to Cry On (HAHAHAHAH, er no), Widuri (Lagu abang-abang genduts kat karaoke), Sweet Chile of Mine (Takde muzik tak best), Zombie (Ibid, also dah bosan), That Evanescence song (ibid). She even suggested Britney Spears, tapi...NO. On my own, I had contemplated Gemilang (Jac Victor) and Animal Instinct (Cranberries). Gemilang is er a karaoke song and don’t think I can carry it without any accompanying muzak and Animal Instinct macam no challenge, kan?

So after getting fantastically confused, I decided to choose...Asmara. It’s short-ish (2 minutes aje), the range is also very the OK, ie. I do not have to grow gonads besides my ears to sing it (re: Elaine’s Don’t Cry etc etc or the end bit for Sweet Child of Mine - even if the latter is more enjoyable to sing hehe) and most importantly, I think I am able to memorise the lyrics within these two days. I THINK LAH.

Wish me luck. *sweats* *blows into paper bag*

Keduanya.

Oh shit I can’t remember what was it I wanted to talk about. Argh.

APA DIA??? ARGH.

Ketiganya and the most important one (well now that there's only two things, so it's the more important one, rather than most kan?):

This is long overdue, but an elephant never forgets (does this means I’m losing weight? Cause I seem to be able to remember a lot of things! Hiks). Anyway, I would like to thank those people who had responded to my text messages some months back. The stories was, BB – the producer for Hikayat Merong wrote us an email to say that an En. Nordin from Gombak wrote to them to ask if he could bring 30 kids to watch rehearsals for the show because they can’t afford the tickets to the actual show. Sedih tak dengar?

At that point of time, BB was looking for corporate sponsors. I was thinking that corporate sponsors will take some time to deliberate and the show was only few days away. I told BB that I’ll see what I can do and to leave it to me. I sent a text message to all my friends and to my delight, within minutes, I was able to get sponsors for 30 kids. In the end, I managed to pool in a shade below RM2,000. Fantastic no? Just among us, we managed to send 76 kids, 6 teachers and 2 parents to watch Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa. Who knows? Their interest for English theatre might just be ignited with that show. From the email we received, I’m glad to read that they pretty much enjoyed the show. Thank you so much from the bottom of my blubber; I’d list to list their names, but I had been told by some of them that they rather not be known. Here’s the email received by En. Nordin. I’m well chuffed, yo. To my friends, jasamu dikenang.

I think you can click to view the bigger photo. I think lah.

Pisang emas dibawa belayar,
Masak sebijik, di atas peti,
Hutang emas boleh ku bayar, (boleh kah? Hehe)
Budi yang baik di sanjung jua.

I still cannot remember what was it I wanted to tell before this. Argh. Tidak mengapa lah. Wish me luck for Thursday y’all!